Posted by Margaret on May 27, 2000 at 23:46:30:
In Reply to: Take a look, Em... posted by Eric (yet2b) on May 25, 2000 at 05:09:14:
(I would have responded earlier, but I have limited time on the net lately. I also put in the names to make easier keeping track of who says what, etc.)
Eric: Margaret doesn't feel bad about herself.
Margaret: Every human in the world at some time or another feels bad (as well as happy, or sad, or content, or worried, etc. - it's just the way we're made).
Eric: Margaret, for all we really know right now, could be a computer program created by the fellows at Bell Laboratories. Right now there's just me posting to these words that only know if you really wrote them or not. That's it, you see. So what you -seem- to be dealing with is that there seems to be a person named Margaret.
Margaret: Eric, I'm real single human person behind this name. Whether you choose to believe it or not, I guess that's up to you, (because I'm just not interested in arguing over it, I don't have that much free time as I once did anymore - so I have to be careful over how much time I put into arguments from now on - and compared to what else I could be doing with my limited amount of free time right now - arguing about whether I exist or not with you just doesn't rank high up there with my other options).
Eric: And if there is, you believe that she is one person and continously being this Margaret person. But as you have noticed, this Margaret person, like so many of us, tends to drift off into fantasies of acceptance and rejection. Then she further drifts off into explanations as to why this happens and what it really means....all this without a disciplined effort and a real understanding.
Margaret: All human beings at a one time or other deal with acceptance, rejection, explanation, etc. - it's becuase we're all human beings.
What is disciplined effort and real understanding?
People usually have several conflicting definitions of these ideas. Starting another argument about them could last another decade....
Eric: Nothing good comes of this but we find she is calmed by her new explanation and once again everything seems to return to normal.
Margaret: To me, if the only thing that comes out of it is not arguing and fighting and hurting others - that's good enough.
Eric: It's like the parents that never really understand what the baby needs when it cries, they just keep trying to put the pacifier back in its mouth. Then one day the baby dies, and guess who is held responsible?
Margaret: No parent is perfect. Perfection does not exist. SUre, we can learn from our mistakes and work on improving them, but Eric, to expect humans to be more than human is not realistic.
Eric: Then along comes the Evil Eric who interrupts Margaret's addictive cycle and uses strong words, vivid examples, and speaks with such a certainty that those who have never known such certainty (and are content with their addictions) automatically,
Margaret: Why do you call yourself Evil? Don't you think that is a wsate of time? We don't live forever, you know.
Eric:without any real effort, make the assumption that Eric is a self-righteous asshole.
Margaret: Why should I call you or assume you are any kind of negative reference/name? This is the first time we have talked to each other. I don't really know you that well.
And even more so, I'm just not interested in arguing, teasing, fighting, being negative, putting people down, or anything like that anymore as I find my life growing older faster anyway. I have come to the decision a while back that my life was no longer seeming to never end, but indeed short and "mortal" - therefore since then it has been foremost in my mind to make the best of what little time I have left.
Eric: This calms Margaret because it makes her feel that she is accepted by others. And it calms others who don't like to see Margaret upset as it reminds them of painful early memories.
Margaret: please see above response
Eric: Now this, being a club atmosphere, lends itself to the various potshotting discussion of the real nature of Eric. So who's going to see, Emily, that someone came and tossed a match into the woodpile, or stirred the coals a bit? Without wounded people to stick up for, a major part of your persona would die painfully from starvation, but if you could be different, how would that look?
Margaret: Emily has come to face some hard mortality issue news lately, too, you know -
so I would appreciate it if you would please just allow her the peace to feel with and for others without making a mockery of it.
Margaret