Posted by erskine on November 20, 2001 at 03:07:12:
In Reply to: Too much on my plate -survival mode posted by Sharlee on November 19, 2001 at 06:53:24:
: For a while now, I have been encouraged by friends to get out more and get involved in relationships. However, the last couple of weeks, I have realized that when I go beyond work and looking after my intellectually disabled daughter that I get stressed out and I have come to realise I was much further into self preservation than I had realised. In keeping with good intentions, over the past couple of weeks I have been stretching myself into more creative work innovations, welcoming overseas visitors at work, working out at the gym more, meditating, concerned at my 15 year old heading off to Germany in a couple of weeks given the world situation, concerned about my other daughter's court case and her self harming which she did tonight again(also said she was having thoughts in her head which said to kill me), trying to distance myself from an unpredictable ex and trying to expand my social horizons by accepting an invitation to an old friend's 5oth this weekend but 800km away and wondering how I will settle my mother's anxiety at the thought of my driving there and back in a weekend. I first noticed that my mind was scattered and unfocussed last week and it has not improved. I'm driving down one way streets the wrong way, taking wrong routes which I know very well, I'm not sleeping well,forgetting people's names who I know well, I'm finding it an effort to remember what I was planning to do in the house when I walk into a room and simple decision making such as ringing a friend takes effort (unusual for me as I am an ENTJ). I feel my brain is overloaded and is at capacity. Even though my life before was unbalanced in that it revolved around work and my disabled daughter, at least I was focussed and surviving. Unless this scattered stressed feeling passes, I think for my own preservation, I need to revert to my cave. I'll go to my party this weekend as I am looking forward to it, but getting out and about and being distracted with activities is not the answer for me at the moment. Anyone relate? Sharlee