Posted by Sharlee on November 21, 2001 at 07:33:57:
In Reply to: Re: I tried that!! posted by P on November 20, 2001 at 08:19:39:
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: : ***Being an ENTJ I would think you would be bold. Actually though in my micro-culture of Utah women NEVER make the first move. With few exceptions anyway.
: You do have a good career however. Well the way I see it an individual inherently knows what they need and if they get it they will be happy.
#### My E is not huge - generally just on the E side in my scores (eg 51%:49% E to I). I have generally made the first move in my past relationships but I have not enjoyed the experience and have not done it often, hence few relationships - I do think cultural/gender expectations are very strong influencers. In fact, in most personality types, my observation is that women are quieter and less confident than their male peers of the same type.
I do get great satisfaction out of my career and would like to spend more time on it; however I recognise that one needs balance in one's work, personal interests and relationships. Any one of those 3 can be taken away through circumstance and if you are doing OK in 2 of them if one crashes, it gives you something to survive the ride. I have seen people who have been devastated when they have given their all to their work, only to find they have nothing if they lose their job; conversely in a marriage breakdown or death, people can get totally lost if they can't find anything else to turn to. In my own life, I recognise my vulnurability in my commitment to work, but I do have lots of latent interests I know I could easily pick up - its my personal life I probably don't score a pass on. However, I do get a lot of strength and warmth from my church community and a couple of close friends which sort of substitutes.
I'll stop here. I just realised that here I am analysing the "perfect" way to live one's life and of course I don't live up to it!
Good to hear about your impending parenthood. It certainly changes your life and you never stop being a parent. For myself, an intense bond developed (not immediately on birth)that if anything were to happen to my children, it would tear me apart. Children enrich your life no matter what pains and triumphs they bring but right now I could do with a rest from the pains. I think my underlying problem I described above relates more to how things are going with my disabled daughter. Things have improved today so I'm feeling better but its a long term problem with no quick solution. While these issues take up my energies, I feel I have little left to give to looking for and maintaining other relationships. I'm hopeful that this situation won't last forever. Sharlee