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Enneagram Care Board Archive InterpretationPosted by Julian on December 10, 1999 at 19:55:03:
I've been chatting with a friend over e-mail and having some pretty heavy discussions with him. He is very forthright and opinionated and very interested in observing human behavior (sounds like a 5 to me). Anyway, it seemed at one point he was cutting me off, dismissing me, without even listening to my arguments. I felt like I was being talked down to and felt frustrated at his arrogance. This then provoked a fear in me that I had offended him and he wouldn't ever speak to me again. Classic 4 projection is what I'm guessing. Anyways, it turns out he just was using terms to mean something different than I was and wasn't angry at all, as I had perceived, but was confused as to why I sounded so irritated. I suspect there is a grain of truth to my perception of him, but the crux is that if I had just asked him to elaborate on his terms I would have arrived at the same answers as when I got into an emotional response, probably resolving the issue a lot quicker. Maybe it's also just paranoia that belongs to me, but the key is how I imbued his words with more drama and feeling than was actually contained in them, thus setting off the misunderstanding. I think this is general for 4's, so that's why I wanted to share it, as an example. That's all I wanted to say. Julian
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