Posted by Kahn Versely on October 21, 2001 at 17:07:08:
In Reply to: Question for 9s posted by Karen on October 21, 2001 at 09:35:52:
This is a considerable concern for evolving 9s. If the underlying motivation is confict reduction/avoidance (peace,) then choice-making
can be difficult.
"What do I want?" "I want harmony."
9s are like all types; they want what they want. Uniquely, they want harmony at the expense of "self interest." To the 9, self interest is
experienced as "going along," often unconsciously.
The remedy to this is self discovery. 9s benefit from learning how to
access genuine emotional experience (vis-a-vis rationalized/cerebral.)
Discipline comes into play when the 9 realizes that appropriate action
is necessary to effect outcomes consonant with emotions/values. It may help
9s to recognize that others benefit from evolved 9 behavior. Others need
visceral response as a form of relationship and feedback. It is normal to their non-9 lives.
The barrier for 9s then is "discomfort." Learning to contain uncomfortable
affect is the threshold for growth. Most 9s need an external justification
for "being" unpleasant and self-ish. Imagining that "unpleasant-ness" is
useful to others may be a starting point.
So, try coin flipping for choice-making 2 out of 3, 3 out of 5, etc. Check
the internal compass. if you still want 5 out of 7, maybe that is a clue.
Personally, I think that un-doing 9-ness is similar to asking 4s to be insensitive, 5s to join in spontaneously, 3s to accept failure, etc.
Progress, not perfection. Outside help is necessary. Books won't work.