Posted by Diarmuid on January 31, 2002 at 05:15:04:
In Reply to: Gender Differences posted by Sharlee on January 30, 2002 at 03:11:15:
I have promised that I won't post about Gender differences anymore! But I'm tooo tempted, plus Sharlee directly asked. If you're bored by this, just look away!
Sharlee, what that "someone" told you below is true: men in general think about sex a huge amount more than women. This is common sense and common knowledge. BUT, the official "party line" is that men and women have the same levels of sexual desire.
I'm amazed you are not aware of this, but this has been the topic of a loooooooong-standing debate between me and P (on the men-are-horndogs, women-are-somewhat-less-horny-though-not-asexual side) versus Emily, Rotten Apple, Mikko, Isaac and Harley (on the women-are-every-bit-as-horny-as-men side) on these boards.
I believe that Emily, Rotten Apple and Harley are, like you, engaging in wishful thinking. You said "I would be happy for men to disagree with what I've reported and say this isn't always so as it would restore my faith somewhat."
I have heard this sentiment many times before from women: women are VERY uncomfortable with the knowledge that most men have a TOTALLY different view of sex than most women. So uncomfortable, in fact, that they wish to be deluded into thinking it's not true. Sorry, but it IS true. Go ahead and live in your fantasies if you want to, but most men think about sex many times a day. Most men value sex for it's own sake, whereas most women prefer to keep sex within the context of a loving, committed relationship. Most men will, given the opportunity, have many short non-committal sexual relationships in preference to one long, steady relationship.
I cited a peer-reviewed Ivy League study which proved what everybody knew already: 22% of women and only 5% of men have "low sexual desire".
Now, you are Aussie, yes? Prostitution is legal in some cities in Oz, yes? Roughly how many brothels for men are there? Roughly how many brothels for women?
In Europe, the first ever brothel for women closed last week (within a year of opening) for lack of business. Women, as a group, are simply not sexually driven enough to keep a brothel in business. Even when the brothel in question is the only one in a continent containing thousands of brothels for men.
: Someone said recently that when a man meets a woman, he first thinks would he or wouldn't he go to bed with her. Others say men think of sex many times a day (every few minutes). This is unheard of for me - in fact I could go for several days or weeks without it crossing my mind. I certainly would not fantasize with men who I meet (unless they were exceptionally attractive which is rare). I would be happy for men to disagree with what I've reported and say this isn't always so as it would restore my faith somewhat.
: I wonder how men can focus on anything else if their minds are so dominated by sex ( well maybe 4's might include romance).
: As for platonic friends with the opposite sex, I do have platonic male friends but I don't socialize with them or live in their pockets. Interaction is restricted to occasions when our paths cross. I do agree if men and women start spending time together, there is usually at least an unconscious attraction between the 2 which sooner or later ends up as some sort of sexual relationship. Sharlee