Posted by Bartholomew (63.214.75.91) on November 28, 2002 at 18:49:19:
In Reply to: I understand what you're saying... posted by Emily (68.13.144.194) on November 28, 2002 at 15:52:02:
> > The main thing is the feeling that you have something better to do that you don't feel like doing, but that doesn't really capture the whole concept.
> I do understand what you're saying, Bart. Trust me, I understand. And while this may apply to me to a very small degree, it's nothing that criples my life even in the slightest. Yes, there are times when I feel like I should be doing something, maybe not "better", but "greater" with myself. But moreso, I am VERY able to sit still, in the broadest sense of "sitting still" that there is. I don't feel guilt when I have "nothing" to do. I am not a doer, I am not action-oriented. I feel much more at ease when I'm not doing, even if that "doing" is fidgeting. I don't even feel comfortable writing this post right now, I'd rather be relaxing and not thinking.
So why WEREN'T you relaxing and not thinking? There's a reason.
I'm not talking about guilt. Guilt is when someone actually feels bad about themselves because of what they did or are doing. Additionally, guilt carries a feeling of backing up and ducking down, kind of like churning water, whereas the sensation I'm talking about is dominated by a feeling of pressure or springiness, that doesn't back up and at most halts in its feeling of forward progression.
Realistically, though, you hardly feel the springiness. It's mostly the lack of the churning that separates it from guilt. This is a very unconcious idea.
Look, how about you try an experiment: the next time you need to be on time for something you care about, or have something that you need to do by a deadline, take the time you have reserved for the activity and just sit still. After it's too late to do anything about it, record your feelings, and how well you were able to relax and not think.
> I haven't been able to do that a lot lately, though.
So you should relish the occasion.
>
> > OK, but why were you doing that? Do you really know?
> Because I'm in the process of deleting and organizing crap from/on my computer that I don't need, because I only have 300 MBs of space left on my hard drive. That lack of space is creating problems and I don't have any CD-Rs at the moment to back stuff up to.
> > It's because I believe that on a fundamental level, people have all the same ingredients, although mixed in different proportions. There's such a thing as human nature. And it exists in the form of sensations.
> But why are you targeting *me*? Are you really trying to "help" me, or are you just trying to assert your Enlightended Bart Superiorty(EBS)?
I was looking for something to talk about, and the reason you posted what you did happened to pop up as a viable topic.
> > > Why someone would keep returning to such an abusive and negative atmosphere like 9types could mean something, though.
> > It does.
> I agree.
> -Emily
> P.S. I can tell you one thing that bothers me, though. My mom uses vegetables in foods based on what they look like and how "pretty" they will make dishes, not because she wants to cook or eat healthy.