Posted by The Fool of Spoons on March 27, 2001 at 21:35:21:
In Reply to: That's it Randy, you have been warned. posted by Cory on March 27, 2001 at 19:35:50:
: Now this guy is looking for some um, pussy.
: Christ, and he's DIVORCED too! If I know my English word definitions, divorced means "USED TO BE MARRIED". Let's see, if I can comprehend this logic...a WOMAN...WILLINGLY...moved in with this guy...AND HAD SEX WITH THEM.
"THEM" MEANS THAT HE IS PLURAL PLURAL PLURAL!!! Do you understand the enormity of this? How long have I searched the barren plains, searching, searching, searching for the one true Plural Man? Why am I asking you? I should know better than you do! After all, I'm The Fool and you're just a lowly fool. And if I told you my arcane knowledge, you might ridicule and misunderstand it. So all the more reason: I haven't been looking for the one true Plural Man at all, partly because I've never been to all, but also because I am the one true Plural Man myself. I am more than seven of me. Are YOU plural, two?
If you're happy and you know it clap your hands! If you're happy and you know it clap your hands! If you're happy and you know it and you really want to show it, if you're happy and you know it clap your hands!
How many hands did you clap? Count them, and divide this figure by the number of claps, and divide this resulting figure by two. If that final number is zero, go take some recreational drugs and read the preceding paragraph again. If that number is greater than zero, you are either plural or not plural, but that's irrelevant because in either case you are COMPLETELY UNDER MY POWER and ANYTHING I TELL YOU TO DO YOU HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO DO, AS YOU HAVE SUFFICIENTLY DEMONSTRATED!!!!! BWAH HA HA HA HA HA HAA!
: Wait, I can't comprehend that.
I can completely understand your inability to comprehend the fact (?) that this "guy" (or "guys," depending on your viewpoint, not that I would recommend that, as undependable as your viewpoint is) understood enough not to dress up as Peter Pan and whatnot long enough to get married and whatnot, and I can also understand your inability to comprehend the idea (? again) of the "will," as far as it relates to marital relations and Peter Pan.
Have you ever noticed how much a pan looks like a spoon?
Damn, didn't think so. Gosh, the level of uncreativity we get in people these days!
: How ugly was this woman? Was she one of those women from Russia who marry American men just to get out of her shithole of a country? Was it a blind woman? Was it a woman who lost a dare?
This woman was about 5'9", with brown hair, gray eyes with a bluish tint, carrying nearly ten pounds of state park trail map booklets, apparently heading toward Mexico in a small red VW bug with a smiley face painted on the back window, license plate missing. She was last seen driving along in central Michigan, hijacking a submarine. Nobody cares whether or not she is arrested, and there is no record of her ever having married anyone named Randy, with or without a spoon.
: And they say existential philosophy is hard to understand! =o\
Oh they do, do they? Let me give you a brief summary.
Thank you for giving me the opportunity of giving you a brief summary. Unfortunately for you, no one cares if you understand existential philosophy. So PHHBBBLLTTPPTH!
: -Cory
Two end notes, "Cory," if that is truly your name (I'm doubting it; why would you take the trouble to remind me if there wasn't some scam going on with counterfeit Cories that made you want to reassure me you were the real one(s)?)
Number one: PHHBBBLTTPPTH is the sound of a "raspberry," if you didn't guess that already.
Number two: VW bugs, at least when new, float.
Number three: I said there were TWO end notes, why didn't you stop reading after the last one? Some people just can't follow directions, I guess.