Excerpts from Enneagram Books

Baron & Wagele -Are You My Type, Am I yours?

Helpers are interested in people, play the role of nurturer, and try to present a loving image.

Self-Preservation Twos: "Deserving of Privelges"

If I don't receive cards, gifts, or other signs of appreciation for being giving, devoted, and self-sacrificing, I feel devastated, hurt, and angry.

I like to pamper myself. I often indulge in wonderful food treats, shopping excursions, special vacations, or other luxuries.
I often spend more than I need to, but I can always justify it.
I look for someone to support me financially and/or emotionally.
I often feel young and needy but cover it up by acting helpful and strong.
Helping my partner achieve his or her potential is gratifying and makes me feel important. It also spares me the risk of failure.
Sometimes I feel I deserve preferential treatment because of all the things I have done for others.

Relational Twos: "Persistent and Seductive"

I go after what I want. This applies to relationships as well as to other areas of my life.
If I don't reach out to people, I feel that I may be overlooked or forgotten.
I have perfected many skills to lure people I'm romantically interested in. I alter my personality, dress attractively, turn on charm, learn their likes and dislikes, and listen attentively to their every word.
I long to have a close relationship, but I know from experience that I can lose myself this way.
I often choose inappropriate or unavailable people, as this keeps me from having to face my fears of intimacy.
I sometimes choose a partner I plan to improve, change, or bring out.
I like the chase! I hook someone in and then discover if I like her or him.

Social Twos: "Ambitious"

I like to make a difference in people's lives.
I seek important roles; I like to be the leader or assistant to a powerful leader.
Highly visible work can make me anxious because of the possibility I'll be embarrassed if I should fail in some way.
I strive to be recognized and valued for my warmth, friendliness, and expertise.
I try to seek approval by being charming, upbeat, competent, energetic, and by entertaining graciously in my home.
I love getting compliments like, "I couldn't have done it without you."
I'm ambitious for my partner and boss, but I resent their success when I have done much of their work.

Renee Baron & Elizabeth Wagele

Are You My Type, Am I Yours?
Relationships Made Easy Through the Enneagram
HarperSanFrancisco, 1995, 184 pages