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Type Two: The Caretaker
Personality Identification
What do I want most?
- I want to love and be loved, to be helpful, and to be appreciated for
what I do.
What is most important to me?
- It is important to me that others see me as loving and helpful.
What is the worst thing that could happen to me?
- The worst thing that could happen to me would be to have to live with
people who don't appreciate me or care about me.
How do I see myself (on a good day)?
- I am a warm, loving, and helpful person.
Path of Peace: Two (Caretaker) looks to Four (Symbol Maker)
When a Two accepts its own feelings and needs, it becomes genuinely
perceptive and understanding of other people's feelings like a healthy
Four, develops the self-awareness of a healthy Three, and the gentle assertiveness
of a healthy Eight.
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I am empathic.
[4. Symbol Maker] |
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I am forgiving.
[1. Judge] |
I am good enough.
[2. Caretaker] |
I am honest.
[3. Performer] |
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I am independent.
[8. Chief] |
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Path of Storms: Two (Caretaker) looks to Eight (Chief)
Not trusting its own natural goodness, an unhealthy Two becomes controlling
and intrusive like an unhealthy Eight, becomes self-promoting like an unhealthy
Three, lives in a world of self-pity like an unhealthy Four, and is filled
with self-redemptive righteousness like an unhealthy One.
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I am unappreciated.
[4. Symbol Maker] |
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I am righteous.
[1. Judge] |
I am virtuous.
[2. Caretaker] |
I am admirable.
[3. Performer] |
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I am controlling.
[8. Chief] |
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A Counseling Approach
- Yes, sometimes we need to feel that no one appreciates what we do for
them even though we know that unselfish helpfulness does not expect a return
for generosity.
- Yes, it is true that before we can be genuine and honest with others
we must be that way with ourselves, trusting that who we are is good enough
for others.
- Yes, when we come to love ourselves and trust in our own goodness,
we don't need to try to manipulate others to get them to depend on us.
- Yes, forgiveness is acceptance, not approval. Forgiveness binds us
to others, and others to us, and it does so in a way that makes us all
more self-confident and independent.
- Yes, when we are really loving we don't think about ourselves and how
"good" we are. Our goodness shows itself when we stop trying
to "wear" it.
Rev. William J. Callahan, S.J.
The Enneagram for Youth
Counselor's Manual
Loyola University Press, 1992, 156 pages
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