Point Two: The Program of Helpfulness With Manipulation
||Warmth and ability to help people feel comfortable
||One's own needs
||Appropriate self-value (Humility)
||Help and advice
||Gaining approval and avoiding rejection, pride in the importance of
oneself in relationships.
Submission to a powerful other, then identifying with the other to avoid
Concern about limited personal freedom.
Altering oneself to meet the needs of others.
Empathy with others' feelings; adapting to their wishes as a way of assuring
||Personal emphasis on privelege ("me first").
Couple emphasis on aggression/seduction.
Community emphasis on ambition.
||To move from dependence on approval to knowledge of personal strength
to meet one's own needs. This usually requires personal loss. The resulting
depression can lead to a more accurate self-assessment and understanding
Margaret Frings Keyes
Emotions and the Enneagram
Working Through Your Shadow Life Script
Molysdatur Publications, Muir Beach, California,1992, 164 pages