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Point Two: The Giver
Worldview
People depend on my help. I am needed.
What helps Givers
- Recognize your own needs rather than meeting others' needs.
- Know your actual worth to others. See the exaggeration of "being
indispensable" or "everyone's best friend."
- Identify the desire to flatter and obtain approval as signs of rising
anxiety.
- Observe that exaggerated emotional displays can mask real feelings.
- Notice when pride inflates and deflates. See how pride is maintained
by maximizing approval and shifting blame.
- Notice when self-presentation alters to become more pleasing.
- Identify an unchanging self instead of the "many selves"
that emerge to meet other people's needs.
- See through the strategy of giving to get. Learn to receive instead
of overgiving.
- See when overgiving leads to exhaustion and a desire to escape.
- Discern when people really need you and when they don't.
Helen Palmer
The Pocket Enneagram:
Understanding the 9 Types of People
Harper & Row, 1988, 90 pages
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