Point Three: The Performer

What helps Performers

• The key word is "Stop." Leave time for emotions to surface before hurrying to the next task. Find the fear of feelings that underlies an urgent desire for activity.
• Learn the difference between doing and feeling. Note when activity is mechanical. Robotlike work suspends feelings.
• Notice when fantasies of success replace actual abilities.
• Stay with problems rather than veering off to new projects, discrediting critics, or reframing failure into success.
• Pay attention to postponement of feelings. "I'll be happy after the next promotion," "We'll have more time after I get a raise."
• Notice when you feel like a fraud. "Nobody sees behind my mask. Only what I do is seen."
• Note unrealistic fears of failure when the work pace lessens.
• Be aware when self-reflection or support group sessions become a task to master or the next job on the schedule.
• Learn to recognize feelings. Threes may have to start by naming the sensations that underlie feelings. "My face is hot" or "My belly feels tight."
• A definite time limit for self-reflection softens the fear of emotionality. Begin with thirty-minute breaks and then back to work.
• Get support in making feeling choices rather than staus choices.
• Allow people to love who you are rather than what you do.

Helen Palmer

The Pocket Enneagram:
Understanding the 9 Types of People
Harper & Row, 1988, 90 pages