Point Five: The Observer

What helps Observers

• Notice times when thoughts and emotions are withheld from others.
• Observe the hoarding of knowledge, time, energy, privacy, and personal space.
• See the control aspect of censoring information and compartmentalizing relationships.
• Observe that thinking can replace feeling and sensing information.
• Question the belief that feelings automatically lead to pain.
• Note the discrepancy between mental constructs and lived experience.
• Question the three S's: Secrecy, Superiority, and Separateness.
• Learn to value spontaneity and open-ended activity.
• See the discrepancy between feelings that emerge in privacy and the lack of feelings in face-to-face encounters.
• Question the unwillingness to display emotion.
• Find ways to be seen, to disclose, to engage rather than withdrawing.
• Realize that withdrawal forces others to become the active agent.
• Find ways to unite body and heart with mind.

Helen Palmer

The Pocket Enneagram:
Understanding the 9 Types of People
Harper & Row, 1988, 90 pages