The Perfectionist (the One)
Perfectionists see anger as a character flaw and repress it.
Self-Preservation Ones: "Worried and Anxious"
- Hardly a minute goes by when I'm not worrying about something: my finances,
job security, the condition of the world, or little things such as what
to buy for dinner.
- Changes in routine make me anxious.
- I may stay in an inappropriate or unsatisfying job for years rather
than undergo the anxiety of looking for something new that I might like.
- I feel as if one error could ruin everything.
- I assess every last detail in advance in order to keep my life perfect
and under control. When I finish worrying about myself, I worry about whether
my loved ones are going to be safe and sound.
- I often imagine that someone is checking up on me or scrutinizing and
criticizing everything I do.
- I frequently compare myself to other people, correct myself a lot,
and apologize -- or feel that I should apologize.
- Sometimes I procrastinate because I'm afraid to make a mistake.
Relational Ones: "Insecure and Jealous"
- I tend to be overly possessive.
- I worry that my loved one will reject me for a more attractive or perfect
- I obsessively compare myself with others.
- When my partner or friend makes a positive comment about another person,
such as, "He is a great cook," I get upset and think she means
I am not a great cook.
- I feel ashamed and insecure when I experience boiling anger or jealousy.
Sometimes I act overly enthusiastic or positive to cover up the feelings
I think are improper.
- I become indignant when someone who doesn't deserve it gets honored
or promoted or doesn't have to worry as much as I do about earning a Living.
- I like the intensity of being fully and passionately engaged with another
- I try to get my partner to meet my high standards and expectations
in order to make him or her -- and our life together -- better.
Social Ones: "Adaptable or Unadaptable"
- Sometimes I defend what I believe in so adamantly, it puts me on the
outs with people.
- There are times when I really want to reform something or someone,
but I quietly simmer rather than rock the boat. It's important to try to
- I've been accused of being unyielding, but I deliberate carefully and
thoroughly in forming my opinions and can see no reason to change them.
- I believe in cooperation, but I will not go along with anything that
is completely against my principles.
- When people don't perform up to my standards, I feel I must set them
- I am drawn to groups that share my ideals, but sometimes I end up overworking
because the others don't get things done right. I often feel resentful
and have to leave.
Renee Baron & Elizabeth Wagele
Are You My Type, Am I Yours?
Relationships Made Easy Through the Enneagram
HarperSanFrancisco, 1995, 184 pages