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The Helper (the Two)
Helpers are interested in people, play the role of nurturer, and try
to present a loving image.
Self-Preservation Twos: "Deserving of Privelges"
- If I don't receive cards, gifts, or other signs of appreciation for
being giving, devoted, and self-sacrificing, I feel devastated, hurt, and
angry.
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- I like to pamper myself. I often indulge in wonderful food treats,
shopping excursions, special vacations, or other luxuries.
- I often spend more than I need to, but I can always justify it.
- I look for someone to support me financially and/or emotionally.
- I often feel young and needy but cover it up by acting helpful and
strong.
- Helping my partner achieve his or her potential is gratifying and makes
me feel important. It also spares me the risk of failure.
- Sometimes I feel I deserve preferential treatment because of all the
things I have done for others.
Relational Twos: "Persistent and Seductive"
- I go after what I want. This applies to relationships as well as to
other areas of my life.
- If I don't reach out to people, I feel that I may be overlooked or
forgotten.
- I have perfected many skills to lure people I'm romantically interested
in. I alter my personality, dress attractively, turn on charm, learn their
likes and dislikes, and listen attentively to their every word.
- I long to have a close relationship, but I know from experience that
I can lose myself this way.
- I often choose inappropriate or unavailable people, as this keeps me
from having to face my fears of intimacy.
- I sometimes choose a partner I plan to improve, change, or bring out.
- I like the chase! I hook someone in and then discover if I like her
or him.
Social Twos: "Ambitious"
- I like to make a difference in people's lives.
- I seek important roles; I like to be the leader or assistant to a powerful
leader.
- Highly visible work can make me anxious because of the possibility
I'll be embarrassed if I should fail in some way.
- I strive to be recognized and valued for my warmth, friendliness, and
expertise.
- I try to seek approval by being charming, upbeat, competent, energetic,
and by entertaining graciously in my home.
- I love getting compliments like, "I couldn't have done it without
you."
- I'm ambitious for my partner and boss, but I resent their success when
I have done much of their work.
Renee Baron & Elizabeth Wagele
Are You My Type, Am I Yours?
Relationships Made Easy Through the Enneagram
HarperSanFrancisco, 1995, 184 pages
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