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Point Two: The Program of Helpfulness With Manipulation
| Special Gift: |
Warmth and ability to help people feel comfortable |
| Self-Definition: |
"I'm helpful." |
| Shadow Issue: |
Parasitic pride |
| Rejected Element: |
One's own needs |
| Addiction: |
Service/manipulation |
| Strength Needed: |
Appropriate self-value (Humility) |
| Defense Mechanism: |
Repression |
| Psychological Disturbance: |
Hysteria/dependent personality |
| Talk Style: |
Help and advice |
| Preoccupations Include: |
Gaining approval and avoiding rejection, pride in the importance of
oneself in relationships.
Submission to a powerful other, then identifying with the other to avoid
feeling depressed.
Concern about limited personal freedom.
Altering oneself to meet the needs of others.
Empathy with others' feelings; adapting to their wishes as a way of assuring
their love. |
| Focus: |
Personal emphasis on privelege ("me first").
Couple emphasis on aggression/seduction.
Community emphasis on ambition. |
| Life Task: |
To move from dependence on approval to knowledge of personal strength
to meet one's own needs. This usually requires personal loss. The resulting
depression can lead to a more accurate self-assessment and understanding
of tasks. |
Margaret Frings Keyes
Emotions and the Enneagram
Working Through Your Shadow Life Script
Molysdatur Publications, Muir Beach, California,1992, 164 pages
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