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The Observer (the Five)
Observers have a need for knowledge and are introverted, curious, analytical,
and insightful.
How to Get Along with Me
- Be independent, not clingy.
- Speak in a straightforward and brief manner.
- I need time alone to process my feelings and thoughts.
- Remember that If I seem aloof, distant, or arrogant, it may be that
I am feeling uncomfortable.
- Make me feel welcome, but not too intensely, or I might doubt your
sincerity.
- If I become irritated when I have to repeat things, it may be because
it was such an effort to get my thoughts out in the first place.
- don't come on like a bulldozer.
- Help me to avoid my pet peeves: big parties, other people's loud music,
overdone emotions, and intrusions on my privacy.
What I Like About Being a Five
- standing back and viewing life objectively
- coming to a thorough understanding; perceiving causes and effects
- my sense of integrity: doing what I think is right and not being influenced
by social pressure
- not being caught up in material possessions and status
- being calm in a crisis
What's Hard About Being a Five
- being slow to put my knowledge and insights out in the world
- feeling bad when I act defensive or like a know-it-all
- being pressured to be with people when I don't want to be
- watching others with better social skills, but less intelligence or
technical skill, do better professionally
Fives as Children Often
- spend a lot of time alone reading, making collections, and so on
- have a few special friends rather than many
- are very bright and curious and do well in school
- have independent minds and often question their parents and teachers
- watch events from a detached point of view, gathering information
- assume a poker face in order not to look afraid
- are sensitive; avoid interpersonal conflict
- feel intruded upon and controlled and/or ignored and neglected
Fives as Parents
- are often kind, perceptive, and devoted
- are sometimes authoritarian and demanding
- may expect more intellectual achievement than is developmentally appropriate
- may be intolerant of their children expressing strong emotions
Renee Baron & Elizabeth Wagele
The Enneagram Made Easy
Discover the 9 Types of People
HarperSanFrancisco, 1994, 161 pages
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