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The Questioner (the Six)
Questioners try to control their fear through vigilance, approval of
authority figures, or through rebelling against authority.
Self-Preservation Sixes: "Ingratiating"
Those in the self-preservation subtype are sometimes referred to as warm
Sixes because of their friendliness.
- I am responsible, loyal, and witty. I try to make sure that people
like me because then I feel protected.
- I love opportunities to prove that I stand by my friends. The bonus
is they'll stand by me when I need it.
- I evaluate carefully how authority figures perceive me so I can stay
in, or get back in, their good graces.
- I can't help trying to be cordial, even when I'm angry with someone.
- I have many worries and doubts and look to others for assurance and
protection.
- I analyze every ramification of every action I'm about to take in order
not to make mistakes or to jeopardize my safety.
- I need to have a safe house and to feel protected from the outer world.
Relational Sixes: "Strength and Beauty"
- I am very energetic and competitive. I work hard to achieve my goals.
- I try to make myself strong (physically or intellectually) and attractive
(sexually or aesthetically).
- I need to be sure either that people know me and care about me and
will come to my aid, or that I am capable of defending myself.
Relational Sixes, especially males, are usually counterphobic and resemble
Eights in many ways.
Social Sixes: "Duty"
- I'm in constant dialogue with a committee I carry around in my head.
It's based on voices of authority from my family, school, and church. When
I'm making a decision, I will refer to this committee to verify that I'm
doing the right thing.
- I am loyal to those within my family or group and skeptical of outsiders.
- I either try to be conscientious and follow the rules or test and break
them, preferably with the support of coconspirators.
- When those in charge tell me what to do, I either feel relived that
the responsibility for the decision has been taken off my shoulders, or
I become annoyed.
- It is not safe to depend on any one individual. I'd rather put my trust
and support in a group or a cause.
- I am anxious about promotions. I want to succeed, but I worry about
having serious responsibilities. I am also reluctant to take on a highly
visible role where I might be ridiculed or criticized, as I do to my
superiors.
- I have idealized a leader or a boss and later felt disillusioned.
- I can work untiringly for a cause I believe in.
Renee Baron & Elizabeth Wagele
Are You My Type, Am I Yours?
Relationships Made Easy Through the Enneagram
HarperSanFrancisco, 1995, 184 pages
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