Re: interesting configuration.......

Posted by Dee (24.156.129.68) on October 05, 2003 at 10:22:46:

In Reply to: interesting configuration....... posted by Jan (145.53.141.105) on October 05, 2003 at 09:04:18:

> Dee

>
> Self Confident (low altruism) and Self Sacrificing (high altruism) combined? Is there a mix of work and private behavior here?

> Would you be seen as mainly self sacrificing style by other people? Or is your life line better typed with other style?

> How would people describe you? (' You are so XXXXXXX')?

> JDeeB

Hi Jan,

Self Confident (low altruism) and Self Sacrificing (high altruism) combined? Is there a mix of work and private behavior here?

- my efforts aren't always for someone else. I must think about me and like a tennis ball, it must land in my side of the court. It's a control issue I gather. Self Sacrificing is handing the control over to someone else, it's my style to do this but I detest it in myself. As soon as I give it over, I want it back maybe not right then and there but at some point I ponder. If I didn't feel this way or think this way I would be an unhealthy self sacrificing style.
- Yes, maladapive behaviour or ADD - which one is it I haven't a clue.
When I'm finally able to focus my attention for a prolonged period of time on one subject or one thing, I am at this point constructive and this gives me satisfaction that is lacking in my style.

Would you be seen as mainly self sacrificing style by other people? Or is your life line better typed with other style?

- I asked my sister last night and she says I'm insecure with no apparent reason. "Why are you so hard on yourself Debbie, you have no reason to be! You let others bring you down and you shouldn't let people walk all over you, you are better than that and them! It makes me sad that others take advantage of you. You are nothing but kind and get trampled over, it's unjust! Your choice for boyfriends is crazy! Each one has taken you for granted and where are they now? You deserve better."
See, this is where I already know what she is saying but my self-sacrificing behaviour is now upset that I've made her perhaps uncomfortable and phoned her after I got home to see if she was ok and apologized for her having to go to lengths for me... no self-confidence there, the balls now back on the other side again. Can you see how this can be exhausting? I just want to here the word "love" in my life and ironically in tennis, that means no score.

How would people describe you? (' You are so XXXXXXX')?

My co-workers would describe me a distant, a snob and perhaps disturbed. It's a thankless job.
My friends would describe me as loyal, dependable and admirable.
Boyfriends, always asking me what's wrong and trying to make me feel better until exhaustion kicks in and then they're gone, but for some asinine reason they always want back in my life. They would describe me as loveable but too complex.
' You are so "Right" '

Thank you Jan,

Dee : )

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• Re: interesting configuration....... Jan (145.53.141.105) 14:00:09 10/06/03 (0)

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