Posted by Mikko on April 29, 2000 at 02:28:57:
In Reply to: Wow! posted by Valeri on April 29, 2000 at 02:03:07:
: I'm not really looking for new "friends," and from what I read of the above parties (the "tough guys"), I didn't really want to be friends with them. But I do enjoy reading the posts of some of the other members.
From the way you posted, it sounded as though you addressed all the people posting here.
: And as you've probably guessed (pattern recognizer that you are), I tend to get upset about things. I've worked long and hard to strip myself of the "facts first" mentality.. I've learned that life, for me, is much more fulfilling when I'm able to relate to other people...
: But part of the "old me" comes through when I feel that I, my friends, or even people like Tehuti and others on this board, are being threatened. And I just get dragged back down to where I used to be. Unfortunately, that's the side of me that you've seen right away, and I'm sorry for that.
If you are balanced within yourself, you don't get all that upset. You feel, but can react appropriately. One question to ask yourself before you do anything is "does it make me happier, more content?" This is what the latest round with Tehuti and discussing it with a friend not on the board made me realize. It's hardest when the spot that's most vunerable in you is touched.
: You will drive me out? What is the deal here? I just came in and had one disagreeing opinion, and you're going to "drive me out"? I don't even know what that could possibly entail. As far as I've seen it, I've done nothing but air opinions about one subject. (And made a derisive comment to Damien, but that was kind of warranted, I thought. I was sorry I did it though...again) But one question I had, but haven't gotten around to asking, is WHY is there so much fighting? I don't really understand it, and the only reason I've thought of is simply that the contingent of non-fours on the board doesn't quite get on with the 4 mentality that seems to be evident in most of the people posting here. Is that the cause of all of this, do you suppose? Or is it more complicated than that? Or is it simpler?
It is simple, people fight because there are people who want to fight. As I see it, your comment made Cory more upset. Maybe he could've responded in a more balanced way as well, but you attacked him, not asked if he wanted to discuss about the issuse. I think saying "it's because some people are Fours and others are not" is misunderstanding human nature. It's not black and white. =o)
: You can think what you want about me, but threatening to "drive me out" is a bit ridiculous.
No, it's not, given the situation. You come in, being a new poster and just reinforce what is happening on the board. Taking sides, keeping the fight up. Don't you think we have fought enough already? I think so, and therefore I'd want to keep new people wanting to carry on that behavior out.
: By the way, I was suprised when I read your pattern recogntion of the names of Valeri and Tehuti... Not suprised that you made it of course, but suprised that the pattern is there. I bet you do really well on those IQ tests..
Yes, I do.
: Love,
: Valeri
: (P.S. Sorry for making such an ugly impression... I want to say I'll try to be nicer, but, well.. I guess Cory's doing what he does best, and that's pushing peoples buttons (in this case, mine).
Don't let him. I let Tehuti do that to me, push my buttons and let me get all worked up. I've now realized I didn't need to. Her reactions are her own, mine are mine and I can really only control mine. The same applies to you and Cory and to all people in the world.
Mikko