Re: A Four sliding down

Posted by heatherb on May 02, 2000 at 09:18:16:

In Reply to: A Four sliding down posted by Mikko on May 02, 2000 at 08:43:47:

: This is just the pitfall where Fours fall when to go lower on the levels. Riso explains this well in "Personality Types." The main idea is that when Fours start defining who they are not, they paint themselves in a corner.
: Since their sense of self is so fluctuating, the counterreaction, defining themselves by what they are not gets very strong.

: This works for a while, but what happens when it actually would be good to be something you have decided not to be? You have two contradicting motivations: knowing that if you do what don't or are what you are not, you go against your own definition of self. The bottom falls off and you feel like a bottle floting on water. On the other hand, blocking your true self causes you pain too. You know there's something wrong, but aren't quite sure what it is. So you get even more attached to and interested in your feelings, to which you pay too much attention already. They you find something else you are not and so on. In the end you just know what you are not--and that list is long, but you still don't know what you are. You're made it impossible for yourself to be anything.

: That is what happens when a Four studies the enneagram and decides to use it for proving how special and unique s/he is. It's interesting to compare Fours and Eights and what they seem to think about the enneagram. A Four readily accepts the system, but uses it to reinforce his/her ego defenses instead of becoming aware of them. An Eight typically first denies the value of the system or that it would apply to him/her, but then accepts it and becomes easily aware of the negative sides and starts working on them.

: Mikko

I don't know Mikko...

You make good points, and you are probably right... but there is just something about what you say that makes it seem like you look down on all of us fours... Like you think we are these pour souls who just don't seem to get it, who can't get it together...

I don't know.

But I understand you aren't attacking fours, don't get me wrong. I know that since you aren't a four, you are more objective... I just get this impression that you are very negative about fours... tell me I'm wrong please :) Or if I'm not, well, it's ok!

heatherb

Follow Ups:

• Re: A Four sliding down Mikko 09:43:09 05/02/00 (3)
  • It just can seem that way Alison 17:45:01 05/02/00 (2)
    • I'm not talking specifically about this board, but life in general. [nt] Mikko 18:02:54 05/02/00 (1)
      • Except those canny Eights? ;-) [nt] Alison 19:09:02 05/02/00 (0)

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