Re: Hey Derf....picking the feathers out from between my teeth :)

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: Hi there Derf :) : : Thanks, I guess. :> To wrap up your "archaeological study": I never screened my gender deliberately. The idea never even occurred to me until you came up with the question, and then I thought it would be neat. So from now on, I will deliberately screen it. : Now, why doesn't that surprise me? :) : : I get prickly with people who shun the idea of personal responsibility. My usual shouting rant goes something like this: "So-and-so is your own damn fault! Don't blame anyone else!" Those are the fools I don't suffer gladly. Perhaps the least commendable thing about that is the fact that I'm prone to feeling blame as well, though it takes a crisis (or at least a mini-crisis), and I transform, as it were. : Which is why I believe that crisis is good - it usually is an opportunity to bring about change. I, too believe that people need to take responsibility for themselves. All too often I come across 4's in particular (- but some other types as well - most notably 6's) who almost seem to be so attached to their suffering that they don't really want to do anything about it. I call them 'adrenalin junkies' - there almost HAS to be some drama going on! It's like their pain is the only guage they have to know they are alive....and insist that they CAN'T do anything about it - when the real truth is that they WON'T do anything about it - for any number of seemingly legitimate reasons. I feel that one may have perfectly good reasons - but that they can't become excuses for inaction. I know this may probably sound harsh to some - but that's because it is! I've been there too - so I can speak from harsh experience. The most important discovery I ever made was the realisation that I had CHOICES. I could look down the dark tunnel and long for the light - or I could march down the tunnel and turn the bloody thing on myself! We 4's can be soooo emotionally lazy! : Whilst I have been tough with myself (and I needed to be in order to get anywhere) I have a vastly different way of being with others who are in the same place. Unlike you, I NEVER rant at anybody....it's not my style. The realisations I came to - I HAD to come to in my own good time. If someone had ranted at me back then, I would have been more likely to turn tail and run for the nearest exit than make the necessary changes. Still, that's just me....for some, maybe a bit of a rant might go a long way. I think it falls into the catagory of us 4's being much harder on ourselves than anyone else ever would be. : : I'm not sure I'm a "self-preservation" subtype anymore. I never knew much about the Hornevian subtypes in the first place, and I basically went on two-or-three-word descriptions. But looking further, I realize that self-preservation Fours are likely to resemble... er... Sevens. :) I don't think I do. : I only mentioned this because you talked about it yourself in previous posts. I know next to nothing about these subtypes - but if the self-preservation 4 looks like a 7....then that must be me :) : : All in all, I'm quite surprised that you've claimed to learn so much about me. I usually just talked about (a) the technical side of the Enneagram, and (b) the "vibes" I get from other types. Not much windswept or interesting about that. : Ah, but it's HOW you discuss these things that is the real clue here - and I find *that* very windswept and interesting! : : But again, you're quite observant. If I knew you in real life, you would probably go under my category of people entitled "those who can read between the lines, and miss little." A very small category, needless to say. : It's not the first time someone's said that to me....the challenge for me is to not miss the lines entirely because I focus so much on the 'between' bit that the obvious can escape me - a blessing and a curse, to be sure! : And a small catagory, you say? You KNOW that's got to appeal to me! :) : I hope you enjoy your little "canary." : I'm picking feathers out from between my teeth as we speak! : Smiles : Amanda :))

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