Posted by Hal on June 30, 1999 at 14:08:49:
In Reply to: Re: And Another Question...! posted by Ev on June 30, 1999 at 09:03:44:
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: There are many people I'd like to be closer to, but if I don't approach them, I never hear from them. They seem to enjoy my company and feel close to me, but for some reason this doesn't translate into a desire to seek me out. I still haven't figured out what to make of this or what to do about it, other than trying not to take it personally.
: : - Hal -
: Hello Hal,
: Funny you should bring this up because you have described the way I act towards others as a general rule. Being an introvert, and a shy one on top of that, I'm not much inclined to seek others out. If they make the effort to initate contact I'm almost always happy to see them and we get along well. One of the things I'm trying to become better accustomed to is making this initial contact myself. I understand that it's unfair to always expect the other person to do so.
: I'm sure that many people are put off by my seeming aloofness but as you are probably aware from other things I've said this is not really the case. I know that the best way to make friends is to be friendly but oft times have an inability to overcome my self-consciousness.
: Ev
Ditto for me. I've forced myself to make efforts to seek out others because they never came to me. What I have trouble with is that with many "friends", I ALWAYS have to initiate things. They never call first or ask me to get together. It's not just making the initial contact, but a problem with ongoing contact as well. Besides being tough for an introvert, it's also hard on the self-esteem. If they really like me, why do they not seem to care if they never see me again?
Sorry I went into "complaining mode", but this has been going on for as long as I can remember. I've started to accept it, and not see it as a flaw in myself, but I wish I didn't have to.
- Hal -