in my case...

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: : Greetings Fourdom :) : : My question revolves around losing someone special to you. I'm not talking about losing someone to death here - but rather when someone you love moves away. Again, I'm not talking about a situation where there has been problems between you - so much as it being something they need to do for their own reasons. : : Have any of you ever had this kind of situation to deal with? How did you cope? What helped and what didn't? : : Thanks in advance : : Amanda : : Having moved around a lot my whole life (never lived more than 5 years in one place) I've had to deal with the situation many times. : The difference is that I've always been the one to go -- so I don't know if my situation applies 100% to this question... All I know is that when it is something beyond your control (when you are with your parents, you have to move...) you feel helpless and resigned. And when it is your decision to leave... you feel guilty. Each time I moved, I had an empty space inside, from the place I was before. Always someone to remember, to miss (grandparents, best friends, sister...) I've said lots of goodbyes..! : The strongest friendship and most special person in my life is my best friend Sonia, whom I've known since '86... (since we were 13/14... Now we are 27/28!) We are STILL eachother's best friend, even though she is in San Francisco now and I'm in Spain... : Reading Emily's post just now reminded me of my relationship with her, in school... Four years that we were inseparable. We'd be all day together in school, get home and call eachother and spend the rest of the day on the phone! Too much... But we really needed eachother! : When school ended, we were both sent to study abroad... Me to Massachusetts, Sonia to California. And it was hard. I just remember feeling a kind of desperation, of angst! I really didn't know what I was going to do, how I was going to do things ALONE. When the day came to say goodbye, we just couldn't believe it... But we kept in touch. Wrote every week. Saw eachother during holidays. : After college, we actually shared an apartment for a couple years in San Francisco... but then, I moved to Spain... : I could ramble on and on... but I won't! Too many years of stuff and I will bore you to death!! : The most important thing is that it has become very clear to me that when there is a true friendship, there really is no distance. Also, like Emily said, it is almost a good thing that we are apart, because sometimes I think we limited ourselves by always being together... We closed ourselves off from the rest of the world, and I don't think that was the best thing, looking back. Now we are individuals, who have grown to really appreciate HOW special our friendship really is...! It was painful to say goodbye (both times!) but in the long run has really been the best thing. And thinking this way is what helps me cope with the situation. : What doesn't help is to blame or to feel guilty... : Plus, thank god for email :) It definitely makes the distance shorter and easier to bear :) : heatherb : (I sure had to edit this post! If it seems long, you should have seen how it was at first!)

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