Re: And Another Question...!

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: : I can relate too. I used to be so shy and standoffish, that when I started getting older and gaining my confidence, I overcompensated sometimes. A few people had told me they thought I was a snob before they knew me. So for a while there, I began to make extra efforts with people just to show them that I actually was nice & fun. It was all for the desire to be liked by everyone. : : Now, I don't try so hard - I am just being myself. And I don't endlessly question myself when I don't like someone. If my instincts tell me not to like them, then I don't. And my instincts have been right so far. It's funny, when I was younger, I never trusted my instincts enough & I ended up trusting & befriending people I shouldn't have. Meanwhile, these very same people I cared so much about liking me, were not people that I even liked at all! Crazy, eh? Now I know better. They are not people I would ever hang out with now. : : I'm quite discriminating. If there's no connection, and especially if their values and outlook on life don't match up with mine - it's not going to work. : : I've always taken friends very seriously, so when they've hurt me in the past, it can hurt as much as a love relationship. These past hurts make me quite cautious at times! : : ;-) : I also used to be seen as arrogant; mostly I was just painfully shy, but to tell you the truth, I was a bit arrogant. I tended to look down on the more social types and how they stupidly let their emotions carry them away and cause them pain. I was obviously so brilliant for avoiding all these teenage problems--by avoiding people and relationships. : I forgot where I was going with that, but anyway, I've realized that I'm also quite discriminating, and sometimes critical. I used to think of myself as a person who could get along with anybody, but it just wasn't true. I would give in and let others push me around to "get along" with them, but I ended up resenting it. It seems that there are very few people I can be really close to. I sometimes wonder if I'm excluding myself from possible friendships this way, but the fact is that I don't want a lot of casual acquaintences. I'd much rather have a few very close friends. The problem there is that everyone is so busy these days that I don't get much time with my close friends. : I also take friends very seriously, and have been hurt by them in the past, just as you have, Summer. I've also found that I demand a lot of my friends, and they can often feel overwhelmed by this. I believe that I give a lot back, but few people seem willing to give a lot emotionally and spiritually even for a higher return. Anyone else experience this? : - Hal -

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