|
Enneagram Type 4 Board Archive Re: Feeling threatened by othersPosted by michelle on April 17, 1998 at 01:36:45: In Reply to: Re: Feeling threatened by others posted by Ayla on April 16, 1998 at 11:05:20:
I was always very talented since a small girl but also very sensitive and vulnerable. I was also a bit overweight so I constantly got picked on at school.IU alwasy felt different, "special" sometimes and definitely OUT OF PLACE in almost every group setting I can think of....(Unless I was the leader of some project). The way I DEALT with all the harrasment was not too healthy. I would run and hide! LITERALLY! I used to find SAFE places like bathroom stalls where no one could GET TO ME and just sit there for aas long as possible..till it felt "SAFE" to leave. In my adult life I see that Ive done the same thing. I used that same HIDING IN A SAFE SPOT routine for years...when I felt scared, intimidated or "different". I was recently in a show that I starred in Las Vegas..I got the job because my TALENT MUSICALLy is exceptional..BUT..my confidence has never matched my talent! People could sense that about me i think and maybe thats why i was picked on so much. I think they felt that I was this overly talented girl, but so vulnerable and sensitive..so many 8 types would seek me out and just RUN ME RAGGED!! i recently left showbiz (at the supposed HEIGHT of my career and making tons of money)...To make a long story short I was also married to a ONE at the time who was getting very abusive emotionally and physically. I think my personality just wasnt suitted for that sort of constant pressure from critics, audiences and co-workers..Most of whom were so much more confident than me.....Deep down I felt my talnet was definitely equal if not at times better than those CONFIDENT ones...i just didnt have the PHONINEss and THICK SKIN I guess ..... Talk to yall later i hope ..Lets STICK TOGETHER FOURS!! Michelle (sandij262)
|
|