Nothing's impossible....

Posted by Amanda :) on June 30, 2000 at 10:56:21:

In Reply to: Re: I was reading messages here... posted by heatherb on June 30, 2000 at 06:40:32:

Greetings :)

After reading both these posts - Heather's last line reminded me of my friend (an introverted 5 with a very strong 4 wing).

We were both members of a therapy group some time ago now - and while I was quite vocal and able to express myself with relative ease, she found it literally impossible to express herself at all. I mean - I even gave her the nickname "guppie" (referring to her habit of opening and closing her mouth in an attempt to speak - but failing).

Finding her way out of this dilemma was a long and difficult process (I'll spare you all the gory details) - but, suffice it to say, nowadays she is a respected psychologist and does some part-time lecturing at the Counselling Institute.
Her subject? She trains Group Facilitators!

I think it's very easy to confuse introversion with shyness and extroversion with social ease. Granted, most extroverts are quite social and many introverts are quite shy - but I know more than a few who are the opposite as well. However, in Jungian terms, Ext. and Int. are more about how we "re-energize" ourselves and clarify our thoughts than about our ease or lack therof in social situations.
A simple example; an ext. and an int. have a problem to solve. The int. would probably prefer some time to themselves to think things through without alot of distractions. The ext. would probably prefer to talk it over with someone else - to use them as a "sounding board" if you will. I purposfully say 'would probably' because this obviously isn't a hard and fast rule and people often approach things in different ways at different times. However I suspect that, given the preference, most would respond in the way I have described.

Never say never, my friend. Nothing is ever impossible!

smiles
Amanda :)

: : and something Amanda wrote caught my eye:

: : "As I was reading through your post a thought occurred to me....
: : I wonder if some of the things that 4's need to overcome are handled more easily by 4's of the extroverted persuasion?"

: : "It seems to me that this would be a much easier task for an extrovert [Creating an identity] than for most introverts - keeping in mind that most 4's are introverts."

: : ---------------------------------------------------

: : Well, considering it's an social world for extraverts, where introverts are always given the backseat, it sure is.
: : I'm an introvert myself. (ISTJ or INTJ) Or an SFUE. ("ES-FEW" = Seriously Fucked Up Extravert) Whichevery way, I tend to be inhibited at least in some social situations. Those involving my Feeling side. Y'know, the general social interaction where you bond with others, interact, share warmth and feelings and all that mushy stuff.

: : You know, I hate to interact with unselfaware people who have strong Extraverted Feeling. Maybe it's that they'd drink gasoline, if only they'd "feel strongly it's the right thing to do." Or think that if they feel strongly about something, they are right and those who don't feel are wrong. Sort of hard to relate. However, those people seem to be the "salt of the earth" and "lives of the parties" and what else. You, the introvert, are just the "weird guy." Ha ha. So you feel like getting to know new people? Ha ha. So you spend time in a group of people you don't know, "Brainstorming" or whatchama call it (sounds more like people saying obvious stuff aloud, if ya ask me) and you finally say what you have to say, and others look at you like this: O-o, don't understand what you are saying in the first place and then just continue to the next topic. So in time you learn to shut up and only act/speak up when the other people are about to mess things up too badly.

: : So, yes, building a social social identity might be just a tad easier for the extraverted people. And, quite frankly, I don't believe that crap about "all preferences are good" and so on. Sounds like someone trying to make everyone feel *good* about themselves, forgetting about such trivialities as facts and reality. Being extrovert = lucky, being introvert = unlucky.

: :
: : Mikko

: I hear you...! Speaking of Brainstorming, it brought back memories of when I worked in a design studio... and I just remember sitting there, 5 of us, everyone spurting out ideas... And I would be scared to death to open my mouth. I always felt like an idiot. However, when we were all done, we would get on with the work and put our ideas on paper, into visual form, and thank god for that because that's how they could see that I DO have ideas... That being quiet didn't mean that I wasn't thinking...
: But it is really a difficult thing to deal with, like you say, in this social world made for extraverted people... You have to be able to speak up loud and clear and quickly at any moment! It's difficult. No matter what's in your head, in social situations, sometimes it's simply impossible to get it out.

: ...sigh....

Follow Ups:

• Re: Nothing's impossible.... Mikko 16:45:57 06/30/00 (1)
  • To Mikko. Tiggy 17:32:34 06/30/00 (0)

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