Posted by Tiggy on June 30, 2000 at 17:32:34:
In Reply to: Re: Nothing's impossible.... posted by Mikko on June 30, 2000 at 16:45:57:
I find the same thing, that people who know me laugh if I suggest I'm shy. There really is such a thing as a shy outgoing person or a shy extravert.
For much of my life I've been much more introverted, and I think it must have a lot to do with how comfortable you feel, because the first time I became outgoing was at a festival where I felt really comfortable, maybe for the first time in my life. People I was with couldn't believe how my behaviour had changed. I sometimes also went like that in learning situations where I was so interested that I forgot to be self-conscious, or with people I was so keen to talk to that I braved it.
I also find that I become introverted and withdrawn when with my sister and her friends, cos I know they see me as an oddity.
Two statements of yours were typically Eightish:-
'if I assumed everyone was nice,
I'd probably extravert more in everyday situations. But I tend to think the
opposite.'
'I tend to distrust people I don't
know. I wouldn't call it shyness, because it's not really that. I'd call it keeping the
deflector shield up.'
These show that it's your basic mistrust of human nature that leads to you being uncomfortable and withdrawn. So the whole issue of learning to trust has to be dealt with before the symptom of apparent introversion or shyness. To put up a 'deflector shield' before anything has actually happened is to judge the situations and the person beforehand.