Enneagram Type 4 Board Archive
Re: Feeling threatened by others
Re: Feeling threatened by others
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Posted by Ayla on April 17, 1998 at 10:09:50:
In Reply to: Re: Feeling threatened by others posted by michelle on April 17, 1998 at 01:36:45:
Michelle, you hit on an interesting point about confidence that I've also
noticed about myself. I often think my skills and talents are every bit as
good as the next person's--if only because I am so $%^&* committed to
quality over quantity (another novella for a later post). Still, I've always
been accused of not having any confidence. I'm so tired of people saying that
to me. Bosses would hold me back--even discussing my "problem" with my coworkers
because they felt I wasn't "working to capacity" because of it. I used to
cringe when they'd make some comment like, "I want you to attend this seminar,
I think it will help you develop more confidence." GAG! I'm not sure what
my problems all are, but I know one thing, and you just said it: the lack
of "phoniness" and "thick skin" have blocked my course more than anything else. But I also know that this lacking has helped me to be caring and committed to
not only my craft but to those around me. And I'm not so sure those are
traits to be ashamed of. This is where my pride takes over. Screw the world.
Maybe that's how I've tried to deal with it--by trying to convince myself
that I'm even BETTER than them because I refuse to play the games. But
that's not healthy either. So I coast along and try to take pleasure in simple things. My daughter's
dancing eyes, my goofy cats, every inch my sweet peas (plant) climb the
lattice (the sweet-smelling blooms are just around the corner...), a silly
face I draw on the computer that stares back at me, "the Eighth Day," one
of the best movies of all time...
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