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Enneagram Type 4 Board Archive Re: Heavy on the fixations....Posted by Summer on July 05, 1999 at 11:35:41: In Reply to: Heavy on the fixations.... posted by Amanda :( on June 30, 1999 at 14:00:06: Amanda - I am sorry to read about what happened to you - You have to know that you are not seen as 'defective' or 'different' in any way, shape or form. THe only thing I thought was that you must be strong to be able to talk openly about it, and to have done something for yourself about it to help you deal with it. This takes strength of spirit, which is always a good thing. I just feel shocked when I read these things, because they are terrible things to hear about someone - and like you said, people always think it happens to somebody else. The only thing I feel is like you, disbelief that there could be people out there who are so F*'d up and they are running around lose... I was trying to imagine myself sitting in that courtroom -and how I might handle it. I know that when I have come up against my most painful, scary moments in my life, it has helped me to repeat certain things over and over again in my head, to maintain my composure. It sounds silly, but it works. You know how people play negative tapes in their heads about themselves over & over (we fours are quite good at this!) - You can do the same thing with positive thoughts. When the lawyers are grilling you, just keep thinking 'this was done to me, this was done to me' , 'I must help my niece/nephew,' or 'I am doing the right thing, I am doing the only thing' & 'I am a good person', etc. Well, you get the idea. It really helps keep you focused and strong. No matter what those lawyers say, you are in the right and you are doing the right thing - hands down! Good luck ! ;-))
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