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Re: Feeling threatened by others

Re: Feeling threatened by others

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Posted by Devora-Leah on April 19, 1998 at 15:33:35:

In Reply to: Re: Feeling threatened by others posted by Ayla on April 16, 1998 at 11:05:20:

Thanks for your response. What really upsets me with this particular co-worker is that I felt her sizing me up during the first second of meeting me, and she concluded that she is superior (at least in terms of power). If she is superior, then that makes me inferior since I am simply incapable of challenging her conclusion. I hate feeling inferior, it makes my self-esteem and confidence just plummet to rock bottom. I do so much better when I feel -- and perhaps even more importantly that the other feels -- that we are equals.

It sounds interesting to do freelance. As for me, I make myself stay with an outside full-time job for now because I know myself -- when I'm home alone I fall right into depression. I need the feeling of going out, of being among people, even if I don't like the job. Sitting at work bored out of my mind is infinitely better than being at home in a major depression (I have suffered through many severe clinical depressions). I want to change this pattern and learn how to be at home if I want to, however. Do you have issues of depression, especially when you feel isolated? Let me know how your new career goes for you.
:

Your message speaks to something I have struggled with
: all of my life. No matter how many times I've heard, "You
: shouldn't let them get to you," or "You take things too
: personally," or "Talk to her," or "It's just part
: of the game," etc. I still succumb to the nauseating
: baloney others dish out.

: I currently work as a graphic artist for state government.
: My education is in journalism, but I've never worked in the
: field because I was afraid I'd be chewed up and
: spit out before finishing my first story. Instead, I spit myself
: out before I'd even begun. I've held editing/writing and
: PR positions, even tried being a boss. But my boss was a
: raving lunatic 6; a 3/8 wannabe. When I look back on
: that experience, I realize I held up amazingly well. But my
: staff lost faith in me, partly because he was also a
: habitual lier, partly because I failed to play "the game."
: In the end, the fact that I lacked even the smallest hint
: of pretension did me in. I took a demotion and left.

: But I am loving the graphics--it gives me a creative outlet
: I've never had before. The writing was so BORING (you
: got that right) and PRETENTIOUS (PR? How could it not be?)
: that this is a welcomed break. The only trouble is they have
: me working with a bunch of techies (computer that is)
: who haven't the slightest clue as to how important
: image and presentation are. Isn't that an interesting paradox?
: I, the unpretentious one, having to explain to them, who
: are full of the game, the importance of image!

: Bitter? Oh no, not me. I just figure I don't belong in the
: world of work, so my latest quest is to take advantage
: (tongue in cheek) of my husband's success and become
: a housewife! Won't that be fun?!!? Actually, I want
: to stay home and do freelance. I figure it's the only
: game in town for me.

: I'm sorry I can't give you any tips. I've failed this course
: time and time again. But I do wish you well and hope
: the validation does you some good. Hang in there and
: buy yourself a copy of Dr. Suess' "I had trouble in getting
: to Sollow Salu (sp?)." Always a favorite of mine. You
: know, "Speak softly/Carry a big stick."

Follow Ups:

Re: Feeling threatened by others Becky 09:58:03 4/26/98 (0)
Re: Feeling threatened by others Becky 09:54:49 4/26/98 (0)
Re: Feeling threatened by others Ayla 16:11:31 4/19/98 (11)
- depression Devora-Leah 16:37:36 4/19/98 (10)
  - Re: depression Ayla 18:59:25 4/19/98 (9)
    - Wings, etc. Devora-Leah 20:14:53 4/19/98 (6)
      - Re: Wings, etc. Ayla 18:42:01 4/20/98 (5)
        
        To Ayla and Devorah Michelle 17:34:42 4/21/98 (4)
        
        Re: To Ayla and Devorah Ayla 10:28:16 4/22/98 (3)
        
        Re: To Ayla michelle 11:47:38 4/22/98 (2)
        
        Re: to Ayla and Michelle Devora-Leah 19:00:48 4/22/98 (1)
        
        Re: to Ayla and Michelle Michelle 12:34:35 4/23/98 (0)
    - Re: depression Devora-Leah 19:47:33 4/19/98 (1)
      - Re: depression aegk 12:21:00 4/24/98 (0)

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Comments:
: Thanks for your response. What really upsets me with this particular co-worker is that I felt her sizing me up during the first second of meeting me, and she concluded that she is superior (at least in terms of power). If she is superior, then that makes me inferior since I am simply incapable of challenging her conclusion. I hate feeling inferior, it makes my self-esteem and confidence just plummet to rock bottom. I do so much better when I feel -- and perhaps even more importantly that the other feels -- that we are equals. : It sounds interesting to do freelance. As for me, I make myself stay with an outside full-time job for now because I know myself -- when I'm home alone I fall right into depression. I need the feeling of going out, of being among people, even if I don't like the job. Sitting at work bored out of my mind is infinitely better than being at home in a major depression (I have suffered through many severe clinical depressions). I want to change this pattern and learn how to be at home if I want to, however. Do you have issues of depression, especially when you feel isolated? Let me know how your new career goes for you. : : : : Your message speaks to something I have struggled with : : all of my life. No matter how many times I've heard, "You : : shouldn't let them get to you," or "You take things too : : personally," or "Talk to her," or "It's just part : : of the game," etc. I still succumb to the nauseating : : baloney others dish out. : : I currently work as a graphic artist for state government. : : My education is in journalism, but I've never worked in the : : field because I was afraid I'd be chewed up and : : spit out before finishing my first story. Instead, I spit myself : : out before I'd even begun. I've held editing/writing and : : PR positions, even tried being a boss. But my boss was a : : raving lunatic 6; a 3/8 wannabe. When I look back on : : that experience, I realize I held up amazingly well. But my : : staff lost faith in me, partly because he was also a : : habitual lier, partly because I failed to play "the game." : : In the end, the fact that I lacked even the smallest hint : : of pretension did me in. I took a demotion and left. : : But I am loving the graphics--it gives me a creative outlet : : I've never had before. The writing was so BORING (you : : got that right) and PRETENTIOUS (PR? How could it not be?) : : that this is a welcomed break. The only trouble is they have : : me working with a bunch of techies (computer that is) : : who haven't the slightest clue as to how important : : image and presentation are. Isn't that an interesting paradox? : : I, the unpretentious one, having to explain to them, who : : are full of the game, the importance of image! : : Bitter? Oh no, not me. I just figure I don't belong in the : : world of work, so my latest quest is to take advantage : : (tongue in cheek) of my husband's success and become : : a housewife! Won't that be fun?!!? Actually, I want : : to stay home and do freelance. I figure it's the only : : game in town for me. : : I'm sorry I can't give you any tips. I've failed this course : : time and time again. But I do wish you well and hope : : the validation does you some good. Hang in there and : : buy yourself a copy of Dr. Suess' "I had trouble in getting : : to Sollow Salu (sp?)." Always a favorite of mine. You : : know, "Speak softly/Carry a big stick."

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