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Enneagram Type 4 Board Archive Re: the next curt cobain...Posted by Jimeny on July 30, 2000 at 00:59:23: In Reply to: I thought he was just being honest about his jealousy in a Coryish way. I don't think he's as angst ridden as you make him sound. nt posted by Tiggy on July 29, 2000 at 17:15:22:
This very moment he is cutting his forearms with razor blades Before that Cory died his hair black and lost 15 lbs. when she posted the Next he will punch a plate glass window and look at the bloody
: : I am beginning to see that our Cory is, indeed, a fragmented 4-with all the accompanying disintergration that that type represents in its worst phases....Why I now know that is you, dear Cory, exhibit more and more EXACTLY the same characteristics that I have manifested for most of my life - and still do...for God`s sake, I have just gotten into the most blissful relationship of my life, am this close ( ") to signing a book deal, have two of my art pieces in a distinguished gallery show, and yet...from time to time....wonder if I shouldn`t just "check out"...either by blowing my head off with a 12 gauge or driving off a cliff...now, granted, those thoughts aren`t obsessive,as they once were, but I do still have them from time to time. The point here is, Cory, I identify with your angst: you have elements of you that are EXTREMELY unique; with those gifts come the accompanying curses;trying to walk that marginal line between genius and madness is one hell of a battle! I am older than you by several years and through meditation and a regiman of proper diet and exercise ( plus no longer slipping off into drugs and alcohol) have been feeling truly balanced....What I want to share with you ,Cory, is simply this: you will never be able to harness those demons you allow to pervade the board from time to time-any more than your creative muses-but you can begin to STRUCTURE them in such a way as they no longer have the manipulative control over you that they seem to e.g. your overt jeaulousy over Emily`s "love interest"....you are all but lashing out at her emotionally for having something you can not , at this time( you will never develop a real love until you have unseated your ego and more fully recognize and reinforce that part of you that is genuine: your underlying Essence. God, kid, you have got so much to offer this fuckin` dyin` world other than the ego`s cynicism and anger; so much more...I wasted most of my life on just those two emotions before I finally got it: All I was doing was fortifying my walls and slowly dying inside...I told you several months ago that you have one of the most creative minds I have ever witnessed...and at your age, that is truly remarkable. Don`t throw it away on bitterness. Be happy for Emily. Be happy for anyone willing to take a chance at love. Sure, the chances are they will be hurt. But what`s the alternative? Without a hurt the heart IS hollow. We are simply here on this plane to (1) Learn , and (2) Do . Ultimately, we are to achieve, through the suffering of the ego-persona, a" letting go", a transcendence. You, Cory, will never ever get any further on the path of self-actualization until you stop the manifestations of these negative emotions that you too readily indentify with...you are soooo much more, as we all are, than our emotions. Time to grow, my dear friend.
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