Re: How do I get better?

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: : Hi. I am not the most frequent poster here on this board, nor am I the most avid student of the enneagram. But I know a few things, though. I am a 4. This much I know. There is a bit of a 5 wing to my fourness. Those of you who may know me a little more perhaps know that I am not one of the healthiest 4's around. Everywhere I see on this board, you've all been through hard times, and seem to be very happy with where you are. : : Hell, Amanda gets divorced, and to her its like a weight lifted off her houlders. :) I admire that. : : I'm an unhealthy 4. Its not very hard to tell. You take a look at the "Textbook" chart of the unhealthy 4 right here on this site, and you've got, well, ME. : : Another word for unhealthy? Sick. I'm a sick, sick person. : : : : Tell me, doc. Is there a cure? I'm sick of being sick. I can't do it anymore. Not this same old routine. This same old me who's 2 inches shorter, 6 months younger, and 40 pounds lighter. : : I'm a libra. The scales. So tonight I decided to weigh everything out. See what I haven't got, compared with what seems like everyone else: : : Determination. : : Motivation. : : Ability. : : Brains. : : Brawn. : : Family. : : Friends. : : God. : : : : Enough is enough. Psychotherapy is expensive, and popping bubble wrap is cheap. : : : I need to know if any of you ever get to feeling this way, and how you got to stop? Maybe this is just me. The way I am. The way things are. Though things change, they seem to change to the way they were before. They way, I suppose, things just simply are. : : : Thank you for your time. : : : : ======o : : Matches : : o====== : Hey there, I completely know how u feel...it's hard for me to give u advice when I feel I'm riding in the same boat-- : all I can say is that what really keeps me going is like what Jason said, having a goal, having something to strive : for-- the hard part is always figuring out what...everyone has a niche or a something they truly excel in- the only way to : find that is to try different things u enjoy, what keeps me going is the curiosity about how things will turn out or what lies : ahead. instead of making a list of the things u think u lack, make a list of the things u are glad u are right now, and things : u wish to become. Everyday I struggle to keep in touch w/ who I am, or try to find out who that is, and it's scary because u : think that what u believe u are now, someone u are unhappy with, could possibly BE that person and you're stuck w/ it-- that : not true. The fact is, you are a person striving to be better, to understand yourself, and become someone u want to become- : THAT's who u are, and the more u continue to be that person, I think the closer u will get to being happy with who u : are. I'm not really sure how much this helps, considering I'm not really all that familiar with the Enneagram either, but : I am a four, and I'm a libra too :-) : --Cali

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