Inspiration is for those who can afford it /nt

Posted by Bach on July 30, 2000 at 17:20:24:

In Reply to: Writer's block posted by Amanda :o on July 30, 2000 at 14:45:04:

: Evening all :)

: OK, so it's after 4am late Sunday night (so technically it's Monday morning, but that's not the point) - and I'm having a crisis.

: I'm trying to write a song and I can't get it out. That may not sound like that much of a big deal to you, but I'm a professional songwriter - so it's a very big f~*^!ing deal to me! I workshop high school kids to write songs as a part of my living for God's sake, and I can't even write one of my own..and this song is REALLY important to me. If it sounds like I'm freaking out, that's only because I AM!

: I've had the idea for this particular song floating around in the netherlands of my mind for weeks now - ever since my daughter went to live with her dad. I've done everything I know how to cope - but still I spend so many nights just crying. Anyway, a friend called me late a couple of nights ago and caught me upset. He said he was calling because he was worried about me, that he'd noticed how often this sort of night was happening - and when I was going to pull my finger out and write the song. He knows, as does anyone close to me, that I can't seem to really deal with something painful until I've expressed it in a song. And he's absolutely right, you know. It's what I've always done. Back in the days when I wasn't able to cry (I used to throw up instead..charming, eh?) I used to express myself through song. I would get to a point where I felt I would burst if I didn't express myself somehow - and music was something that occupied most of my waking hours - so it was a natural progression, really....I just sort of fell into it.

: I know I'm rambling here and I'm sorry, if you'll just bear with me while I try to get this out right. You see, the problem is that now I'm blocked. I spent last night and some time tonight finishing off the words - and it was really really emotionally exhausting. I can't stress this enough. I mean, I cried so much I gave myself a headache. Tonight, I finally got on to the piano (that was a real effort too, I had so much resistance) and then I started playing the saddest music - it just kind of flowed from my fingers.

: Now, I can't seem to get the two together, and I don't mean that they don't go together. I mean that I can't bring myself to try them together. They may not even go together. How do I explain this? ALWAYS, whenever I've been writing a song, I can either imagine the music behind the words, or I can imagine the words going with the music. Tonight, I'm somehow numb to it. I can read the words, and they evoke the emotion I'm trying to convey. I hear the music - and IT evokes the emotion I'm trying to convey....but I can't hear that music and think those words all at the same time....

: This must sound so lame

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