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Enneagram Type 4 Board Archive Coping with the Cruelness of my ExPosted by AngelCakes on July 12, 1999 at 22:04:26: hello, I have never posted here, so bare with me. I am a 4. I learned this 16 years ago when I was a teenager. I was on my way to becoming a healthier 4 when I got into a relationship with a unhealthy 3. We were engaged, and almost married, when the whole thing blew up. He was initially very attracted to me because he thought that I was very pretty. I thought he was a little conceited, and not my type. But he pursued me and wooed me with flowers, gifts, and expensive dates. He seemed so smittened, that I began to feel secure. Shortly after we became engaged, he began flirting with every woman in sight. I became insecure, and depressed. He couldn't deal with my "F__ up emotions" and stated that if I didn't "get a grip, there are plenty of women who would want a guy like me." One night , in retaliation, I told him that I had fantasies about other men, and that I didn't have fantasies about him anymore. He looked as though I had kicked him in the gut. We broke up that night. I decided to get myself healthier again. That is when he started calling my co-workers at work. "I have found a new girl and she is must prettier than [angel cakes]" He brags about how happy he is without me. My co-workers entertain this. I have difficulty concealing my hurt, and I am afraid that it will get back to him. It could only build his ego. Any suggestions how to handle this? Peace,
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