Re: How to toughen up an ego

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: : : : Dear Ev, : : : You are right. I know it. I am so transparent, that everyone can see my pain. I guess I was looking for advice on how to conceal discomfort. I know that I should get over what other people think~ but it is hard and I struggle with it daily. : : : I don't want revenge. I want a poker face, and an ego stong enough to handle the blows that other people inflict on my ego. It is an on-going problem since childhood when I would cry on the playground and the other children would tease me. : : : Any advice on how to toughen up would be helpful : : : Angelcakes : : To "toughen up" you have to allow yourself to be hurt. You're trying to fight the pain by pushing it away and denying that it's there. It's when we deny our emotions that they have their greatest power. My advice is to find a place you feel safe, or maybe a close friend you feel safe with, and allow yourself to experience the full force of the pain. I bet you'll (eventually) see that beneath it all, you are still okay. It will definitely hurt for a while, maybe more than you've been hurt before. But you'll find beyond that hurt is a great deal of strength and power which you can call your own. There's no need to give away that power, since it truly is yours. : : - Hal - : Hello again, : Ditto to what Hal says. As for how to conceal discomfort I believe that if you truly come to grips with the pain you'll no longer have to worry about concealing anything. By "coming to grips" I don't mean that you must be totally over it or forgotten it's cause. I only mean that you must come to accept you've been hurt but that you'll make it through. Once you decide this episode won't ruin you as a person then you no longer have any need to hold on to the pain. : I work in a refinery where my fellow workers are quick to jump on any perceived weakness you show. I've gotten to the point where I can conceal my feelings about most anything that arises. It's just a matter of self preservation for me. As you age maybe this will become easier for you as well. When I was young I thought everything was so important and I took things very seriously as a result. The older I get the more I'm aware that MOST things just aren't that big of a deal. The sun *will* rise tomorrow and the new day brings with it fresh possibilities. I used to feel like every little crisis I went through was the end of the world as I knew it. Fortunately it wasn't true for me and it's not true for you either. Hang in there kiddo, things will get better shortly! :) : Ev

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