Posted by Julian on August 01, 2000 at 19:16:38:
In Reply to: Writer's block posted by Amanda :o on July 30, 2000 at 14:45:04:
I just read this through thoroughly...am I correct in understanding that your daughter went to live with her dad, as in went to *live* with her dad..not just visit for a time??
What I wanted to say was that I don't think it is possible to write a song
about that. Sure, you could write a cheesy melody and some sincere lyrics but...c'mon, Amanda, what kind of song do you think it would take to adequately express something like this? I probably have misunderstood you so completely disregard everything I'm saying if i'm mistaken.. but this thing is huge.. you don't just write up some spiffy little sonnet about it. Geeesh! You're probably doing exactly what you're supposed to be doing...not that you'll listen to me.. you've probably got these raelly wonderful parts that will make for a truly expressive song...but you're blocking because you can't get past this traditional "well now I've got to write the lyrics, and now this is a chord and now..." and you don't see that this is your mind teaching you something to make a really new and wonderful creation. Of course I'm probably wrong and you'll come up with something brilliant and feel all better about it..but if it were me I'd probably not try to disgrace this kind of emotion with noise..I'd probably go with something like silence, a la The Death of Benjamin Britten or-something-or-other....
Anyway I've probably misunderstood.
J
: Evening all :)
: OK, so it's after 4am late Sunday night (so technically it's Monday morning, but that's not the point) - and I'm having a crisis.
: I'm trying to write a song and I can't get it out. That may not sound like that much of a big deal to you, but I'm a professional songwriter - so it's a very big f~*^!ing deal to me! I workshop high school kids to write songs as a part of my living for God's sake, and I can't even write one of my own..and this song is REALLY important to me. If it sounds like I'm freaking out, that's only because I AM!
: I've had the idea for this particular song floating around in the netherlands of my mind for weeks now - ever since my daughter went to live with her dad. I've done everything I know how to cope - but still I spend so many nights just crying. Anyway, a friend called me late a couple of nights ago and caught me upset. He said he was calling because he was worried about me, that he'd noticed how often this sort of night was happening - and when I was going to pull my finger out and write the song. He knows, as does anyone close to me, that I can't seem to really deal with something painful until I've expressed it in a song. And he's absolutely right, you know. It's what I've always done. Back in the days when I wasn't able to cry (I used to throw up instead..charming, eh?) I used to express myself through song. I would get to a point where I felt I would burst if I didn't express myself somehow - and music was something that occupied most of my waking hours - so it was a natural progression, really....I just sort of fell into it.
: I know I'm rambling here and I'm sorry, if you'll just bear with me while I try to get this out right. You see, the problem is that now I'm blocked. I spent last night and some time tonight finishing off the words - and it was really really emotionally exhausting. I can't stress this enough. I mean, I cried so much I gave myself a headache. Tonight, I finally got on to the piano (that was a real effort too, I had so much resistance) and then I started playing the saddest music - it just kind of flowed from my fingers.
: Now, I can't seem to get the two together, and I don't mean that they don't go together. I mean that I can't bring myself to try them together. They may not even go together. How do I explain this? ALWAYS, whenever I've been writing a song, I can either imagine the music behind the words, or I can imagine the words going with the music. Tonight, I'm somehow numb to it. I can read the words, and they evoke the emotion I'm trying to convey. I hear the music - and IT evokes the emotion I'm trying to convey....but I can't hear that music and think those words all at the same time....
: This must sound so lame