What he said, what she said, what I say...

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: : : Hello all, : : : I've read enough to know that E4's are normally considered to be 'moody'. Strangely enough, I don't consider myself in this light at all. I'm fairly stable in temperament and seldom go off the deep end with depression or anger. I've noticed that some of you describe yourselves as being given to mood swings. I'm assuming, the bane of all inquisitors, that these mood swings are profound. Would I be correct? Is it the norm for 4's to experience extreme mood swings fairly often? : : : The reason for this post has to do with a discussion on the main board. My reaction to one of the respondents shocked me very much. It has been a good while since I've gotten truly pissed but Ronnie managed to float my boat. The thing that really surprises me, is that what I got mad about is no big deal. Do any of you find yourselves driven to distraction by some trivial provocation? Hey, maybe I've been in denial, but I enjoy going through life thinking happy thoughts and giving others the benefit of the doubt. : : : Ev : : Greetings Ev :) : : I'm with you on this one and would love to hear what the others say on this. Like you, I am fairly even-tempered. I like to go with the flow - and not much gets up my nose....but every now and then....again, like you, it is usually (not that it happens very often) something trivial. : : I have not yet thought this all the way through....but is it possible that it has something to do with not wanting to be 'abandoned' - because of moodiness or outbursts, by those who are closest to us? I always *knew* that a 'moody' temperament could well lie beneath the surface - but was taught that such emotional displays were a type of emotional 'laziness'....much like a tantrum. Some part of me had decided that to be emotionally demonstrative in a 'moody' way would probably result in being abandoned by those closest to me. It meant keeping a lid on really intense emotions (happiness was allowable) - I was already quite adept at this by the time I was attacked at the age of 14. Any wonder I chose to re-enforce my numbness to *intensity* - it was already so well established! I've lived most of my life in denial! : : Over the last 12 months, my emotions have become more and more intense....the good ones as well as the bad. It has certainly made life more interesting....and complex.... : : Does this mean I can now look forward to becoming 'moody'? : : (God help us all!) : : mmmm, pondering.... .... .... .... : : Amanda :) : For most of my life, I never believed that I was moody--I considered myself very even-keeled and reasonable. Of course, I was lying to myself. I had shut down my emotions to the point where I just didn't feel them very much, which led me to believe that I wasn't moody. I can't say if all 4's do this, but it's what happened to me. I can say that as I've opened up emtionally and found some peace spiritually, I've become more aware of my moods, and therefore less controlled by them. : I do agree completely with your assessment about hiding moods out of fear of abandonment, Amanda. My moods also were not accepted when I was growing up, and they're often still not. I'm on the verge of getting fired for expressing my opinions and feelings at work. My manager claims that he wants us to come to him with any problems and grievances, but when push comes to shove, he really doesn't want to hear our point of view--he just tells me I'm wrong and I have to do things his way. : I ran into a similar situation with my father and his (at the time new) wife several years ago. I became angry at my father for his constant criticism and lecturing (I was 25 at the time) and he decided that there was something wrong with me and I needed therapy. It may have been true that I needed therapy, but he wanted it for all the wrong reasons--to "cure" me of my anger and bad moods. : I'm not sure where I was going with this except to say that I've experienced all sides of it, and continue to do so. Just last week, I encountered a violent mood change as I watched the woman I've been in love with for several months (and who's not interested in a romance with me) having a great time talking and dancing with a guy she'd just met. It just killed me to see a sparkle in her eyes that just isn't there when she looks at me. I never met this guy, and for all I know he could be a great person, but I just wanted to kill him. It nearly ruined my entire day and week-long vacation, which had otherwise been great. : Chances are no one even noticed my change in mood that night. But I completely understand how we 4's can be called "moody", whether or not they express it outwardly. I don't know if any of this is good, bad, or indifferent. I still don't define myself as someone who's moody, though I might describe myself that way. I think that's the important thing--we can be moody without it consuming us or defining who we are. : - Hal -

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