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Enneagram Type 4 Board Archive Re: let me add somethingPosted by Hal on August 04, 1999 at 09:56:58: In Reply to: let me add something posted by Amy on August 03, 1999 at 15:17:24: : I reflected on what I just posted, and I think I'm primarily unsympathetic toward people I resent for some reason--like family members. But at the same time I still don't think I'm very good at dealing with people who are going through a crisis--I tend to feel awkward around them, and I don't know what to say--it seems to me that saying comforting words is bullshit, like how could my words make the person feel better. A couple of months ago, I read the book "Kitchen Table Widsom", by Rachael Naomi Remen, on a friend's recommendation. One of the first points it makes is the healing power of simply listening--you don't necessarily need to have someting to say. It's often better to just listen and not dish out advice. The title comes from the way people used to sit around the kitchen table and tell their stories, and the great value in simply sharing of ourselves with others. And everyone's story is equally valuable, whether told by the oldest grandparent or the youngest child. Most of the book consists of the author's stories and those of her patients (she's a doctor); many of them are very spiritual, and almost all are very powerful. It gave me a much different perspective on what it means to help others. Highly recommended. - Hal -
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