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To Ayla and Devorah

To Ayla and Devorah

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Posted by Michelle on April 21, 1998 at 17:34:42:

In Reply to: Re: Wings, etc. posted by Ayla on April 20, 1998 at 18:42:01:

I dont have any comments on rocking charis...but...I do on the relationship of the FOUR to the ONE.

I really do believe (after much counseling and study) that it is VITAl for us to move toward the ONE (as far as the HEALTHY TRAITS ) in order to integrate and actualize ourselves.

I look at it like this. My ex husband was VERY good at "organizing" and "motivating" me and my many talents...in an efficient and ordely way. Now that Ive divorced him I now have to be my OWN 'organizer" (ONE)...but do it in a much kinder way than he. He had much sadism and cruelty and insenitiveness while he was getting me "towards the goal" ..! NOW..I am learning to push myself in the "RIGHT" ways to best express my talents in to the world.

Right now I am working on a n art business...(One-of-a-kind ARTCARDS...with various mediums of artforms...from watercolor, mixed media, pennink, collage etc.) They are starting to "SELL" (in spite of my self-destructive and unworthiness fellings) because they are TRULY GOOD! (Of course Ive been told they are UNIQUE, INNOVATIVE, ORIGINAL , INSPIRATIONAL etc. ..many words that are associated with the HELATHY traits of FOURS! I know deep down that they are worthy ..but learning how to MARKET them (and in the same breath not take every "slight rejection" personally) is a challenge. ..though lately I try to view it from the eyes of the ONE (or my husbands etyes)..He always believed in all my talents and knew how to "put me out ther in the world" to get them ATUALIZED.

It is a definite challenge now to do it by myself! I look at my connection to GOD as the "push" I need now. I just finished the book
"CONVERSATIONS WITH GOD" which really helped me with the worthiness issue.

I love what my therapist suggested about us FOURS..."ORDINARY PLEASURES...ORDINARY PAIN" should be our goal. Instead of DRAMATIC PLEASURE and DRAMATIC PAIN! It didnt serve me too well in my past so I am attempting now to learn to accept some of the mundane parts of life and see the beauty and joy in them.

I know Im rambling but I have so much to say..and can relate to so much you both said. Hang in there
Also...
! I think we live out of both of our "wings" at different times and in different circumstances inn our lives.

Follow Ups:

Re: To Ayla and Devorah Ayla 10:28:16 4/22/98 (3)
- Re: To Ayla michelle 11:47:38 4/22/98 (2)
  - Re: to Ayla and Michelle Devora-Leah 19:00:48 4/22/98 (1)
    - Re: to Ayla and Michelle Michelle 12:34:35 4/23/98 (0)

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: I dont have any comments on rocking charis...but...I do on the relationship of the FOUR to the ONE. : I really do believe (after much counseling and study) that it is VITAl for us to move toward the ONE (as far as the HEALTHY TRAITS ) in order to integrate and actualize ourselves. : I look at it like this. My ex husband was VERY good at "organizing" and "motivating" me and my many talents...in an efficient and ordely way. Now that Ive divorced him I now have to be my OWN 'organizer" (ONE)...but do it in a much kinder way than he. He had much sadism and cruelty and insenitiveness while he was getting me "towards the goal" ..! NOW..I am learning to push myself in the "RIGHT" ways to best express my talents in to the world. : Right now I am working on a n art business...(One-of-a-kind ARTCARDS...with various mediums of artforms...from watercolor, mixed media, pennink, collage etc.) They are starting to "SELL" (in spite of my self-destructive and unworthiness fellings) because they are TRULY GOOD! (Of course Ive been told they are UNIQUE, INNOVATIVE, ORIGINAL , INSPIRATIONAL etc. ..many words that are associated with the HELATHY traits of FOURS! I know deep down that they are worthy ..but learning how to MARKET them (and in the same breath not take every "slight rejection" personally) is a challenge. ..though lately I try to view it from the eyes of the ONE (or my husbands etyes)..He always believed in all my talents and knew how to "put me out ther in the world" to get them ATUALIZED. : It is a definite challenge now to do it by myself! I look at my connection to GOD as the "push" I need now. I just finished the book : "CONVERSATIONS WITH GOD" which really helped me with the worthiness issue. : I love what my therapist suggested about us FOURS..."ORDINARY PLEASURES...ORDINARY PAIN" should be our goal. Instead of DRAMATIC PLEASURE and DRAMATIC PAIN! It didnt serve me too well in my past so I am attempting now to learn to accept some of the mundane parts of life and see the beauty and joy in them. : I know Im rambling but I have so much to say..and can relate to so much you both said. Hang in there : Also... : ! I think we live out of both of our "wings" at different times and in different circumstances inn our lives.

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