Man, that's garbage {text inside}

Posted by Diarmuid on November 07, 2000 at 05:03:54:

In Reply to: Re: Jolly Green Giant posted by Perciever on November 06, 2000 at 12:52:25:

It's about metabolism. Example: myself and my friend Brian.

I cycle 20-30 miles per week, to work. Brian gets the train every day. He plays no sports, gets no exercise.

I eat low-fat meals. Brian eats mostly deep-fat fried food and he drinks more than I do.

Brian hasn't got an ounce of fat on him. He is incredibly skinny.

He spend a lot of time "on the pot". He went to the doctor about it. It's a fast metabolic rate, that's all.

I'm about 20 pounds too heavy, BTW

: Its easy for a normal build to critizize a heavy person - "You just eat more than you burn off." Most thin people eat very little.
: Most heavy ones eat a lot.

: What motivates people to eat more than they need? Sensitive taste buds? Emotional gratification? Boredom? Stress?

: Facing an enlarging belly and softening of the face these are questions to myself as well

:
: : I've avoided writing about this my entire life. It seems that every major issue in my life, every intense emotional experience, everything that means something to me, I've written about. Everything except this.

: : I hate talking about it. When someone mentions weight, or when the conversation goes to, "So, how much do you weigh?" I try to casually avoid or change the subject. It's the most sensitive topic for me, and the issue I keep most hidden affecting my personality.

: : When I was little, starting in second grade maybe, kids started calling me names. They'd call me "fat", or a "cow", or whatever. About fourth grade someone called me "The Jolly Green Giant", and it stuck. I laughed a lot, I was fat, so, you know, the connection. My friend Melissa even called me that up until senior year of high school.

: : They laughed at me, and I laughed with them. I didn't want them to think I was uncool or a bad sport, so I hid my hurt feelings. I just laughed, called myself a pig, helped them make fun of me, because I wanted so much to be liked by them. I was just a little nine year old girl, with such fragile feelings...I remember when Justin, a boy I had a huge crush on, heard another boy, Tyler, making fun of me one day at lunch. I thought for sure he would defend me, but he just joined in the ridicule. Lunch was the worst...I hated eating in front of people. I hated them seeing me get fatter. I hated it. In seventh grade, Sean, a boy I had a crush on for many years, was sitting with me at a lunch table. Someone from across the table yelled out, "Hey, Jolly Green Giant, how's the pizza?! Hahaha!" Sean heard, and I smiled shyly like I didn't care, and he said, "Don't worry about them. You're not fat." And I told him, "It's ok, I'm used to it. I've had to deal with it my entire life."

: : He used to be one of the boys that made fun of me.

: : I just put up with it. What they were saying, their "innocent childhood name-calling", was completely ridding me of any self-esteem I ever had to begin with. I had no self-worth, I was insecure. I hated myself. I still do.

: : I think these kids have affected me more than anyone else in my life. I say this because what they did, the words they used, bruised me on such a level that even today I haven't healed. It's such a painful thing to talk about. Right now I'm even hesitating posting this, because I'm afraid someone will make fun of me. I always wanted to write a personal column about this for the newspaper I wrote for in high school, but I never worked up the courage. I could never let anyone know that being fat affected me or bothered me in any way. I honestly think that those kids, that this issue, is such a HUGE part of my life. Everywhere I go, I'm thinking about the way I look, about what other people are thinking of me. I'm so scared that in their minds, they're calling me a cow, like those kids did back in fourth grade. Besides, adults are just kids who have learned to keep what they're thinking inside.

: : What I wouldn't give to be pretty.

: : I think that on a very, very, very deep level, I want to be a teacher because I want to go back to elementary school and be liked. I want to have kids like me, and think nice things about me, instead of everyone focusing on how I look.

: : When people say things enough about you, you start to believe them if you dont have a firm sense of who you are. How firm can a nine year old's sense of identity be?

: : -Emily, Jolly Green Giant

Follow Ups:

• Re: You have the right to your opinion. Just dont preface it by calling mine garbage. Do you understand? Perciever 09:23:33 11/07/00 (2)
  • Okay Diarmuid 04:58:11 11/08/00 (1)
    • Re: Okay Perciever 00:10:42 11/09/00 (0)

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