Posted by Excalibur on November 29, 2000 at 22:36:15:
In Reply to: I just cut a shadow 4 friend out of my life... posted by 2mama on November 29, 2000 at 22:06:05:
:I guess the underlying question is, for a truly unintegrated, about 50% psychotic 4, is there ever a chance of really getting through to them. Believe me, I tried for years.
Depends if the 4 ever realises their mistakes, and how demanding they had become. I was in the same situation, but i was the needy one, the one that feeded off pity. What you did was best for her, she will hopefully see the way now. I am still saddened by the past, but that was a BIG lesson for me, and I am sure i wouldn't do it again to that extent in the future. She is probably much healthier now, but don't make any further contact with her (as much as that hurts me to say) because she will probably go back to her old ways.
In the future, if you meet another 4, don't feed their negative pain, try and control it, and enhance the positive. You said you saw a 'truly lovely side' in her, next time try to bring that out into the open. Just don't get knocked down by the negativity in them, and please don't nurture it, it will only get stronger. (obviously you have already worked this out).
It gets through to us, just very slowly (especially when we are unhealthy).
Excalibur - 4w5 INFP - we're not THAT bad :)