Posted by 2mama on November 30, 2000 at 17:14:12:
In Reply to: now I have to thank you posted by cj on November 30, 2000 at 14:48:27:
I was the emotional sponge in my family...the one person who got along with and understood all the others... and I have a schizophrenic brother and a narcissistic mother, both of whom have been a tremendous drain on me.
Boy, do I resonate with what you said, cj! For me, growing up was a constant state of hypervigilance and watching the emotional barometer in an only-child/two-parent household. I learned how to adapt to survive, but I think I learned too well. No sibs, but net effect the same. My mom is the psychotic one; I've only in recent years stopped trying to heal her. I just have a need to heal the rest of the world:) On one level I love this spiritual context/mindset. It makes my life rich. On the other hand, when I have to face my own shadow wing 4 and 8 I still stumble into traps. This shadow 4 resolution feels like the most significant release of negative energy I've had in a long time, @#$$! but it hurt! Letting go of sickness can be so obvious a genuine need, yet such resistance comes when confronted with actually doing it. What next.... Lots of love and success to you on your own energy-purging enterprises!