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Enneagram Type 4 Board Archive Re: I just cut a shadow 4 friend out of my life...Posted by Nihilist on December 01, 2000 at 20:32:23: In Reply to: Re: I just cut a shadow 4 friend out of my life... posted by Excalibur on November 29, 2000 at 22:36:15: Trust me, not all fours are like that. I'm definitely not a general four as I am a five at the same time (INTP according to Jung analysis). Your friend is just trying to show off, to gain attention. What she may need is some activity to stop her from going on and on. Well, I used to be pretty negative and melodramatic myself until I stopped talking to people for a while and concentrated more on my five side or did some other activity such as playing the computer or reading. It would truly help your friend if she just learns to do something more productive than just whining. What I would suggest is that you tell her she is taking advantage on you, but don't say cut off her friendship and such. I've lost a lot of friends because I was hanging out with a bunch of ENFPs who are not my favorite types to go with because they always seem to jump along to find friends(no offence intended, just an observation, my mom is one). I guess it hurts to say cut off friendship. No offence, I see what you mean about her complaints being annoying, but what you said was pretty much I think what I think twos would say as the two's I know say it directly until it bites and lose their tempers which is quite annoying. My grandma is a person who always pissed off everyone in the family because of her crappy talks about how the so-called Chinese "Communists" took over her home and such. What I did was pretended to act like a perfect little kid and listened to partially what she was saying and tell her to stop talking about "unhappy things" and lets talk about something happier. This helped a lot and then she forgot about it all together. Not sure whether it would help your friend. But that's my approach. Good luck!
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