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Re: Unemotional Fives

Re: Unemotional Fives

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Posted by Amanda :) on August 26, 1999 at 05:07:09:

In Reply to: Unemotional Fives posted by Rachel on August 25, 1999 at 17:32:21:

: Has anyone had experience of being in love with an unemotional, intimacy
: avoiding Five. At a recent Enneagram Conference (Helen Palmer, London), I asked a Five how Fives fall in love and he said he never had been - and he was middle-aged. How do you get through to a Five that intimacy could be enjoyable? Me and Jonathan are soul mates but he doesn't feel the need to see me as much as I do him.

: Rachel.

: Ps. Still getting used to the American way of writing the date - here (UK)we put the day of the month first.

Hi there Rachel :)

I don't know about being 'in love' with a five - but one of my dearest friends is a five. When I first got to know her, she was an obviously lovely person, but extremely closed when it came to any subject involving her inner self in a one-to-one situation, and would clam up completely in any group situation. I even nicknamed her 'guppy' because she was known to open and close her mouth when trying to reply to any question posed to her in a group situation. Luckily for us both, I had absolutely no respect for the barriers she had put up - and in a gentle but persistent way, I proceeded to march straight through them. It was a long and slow process - and she had wonderful guidance from her therapist. Nowadays, she is more than capable of expressing herself quite elegantly and even runs a course at one of the most respected counselling institutes in Sydney on, of all things, how to facilitate groups!

Persistence pays!

And just for the record, we too use a more civilised way of dating here in Australia - but then, we were good little children of "the Empire"....but not for long. It's only a matter of time before we declare ourselves a republic. I wonder if Billy Connelly would like to be our first president? (Yes, I know he's a Scot, but he DID marry an Aussie - and that's good enough for me!:)

smiles
Amanda :)

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Comments:
: : Has anyone had experience of being in love with an unemotional, intimacy : : avoiding Five. At a recent Enneagram Conference (Helen Palmer, London), I asked a Five how Fives fall in love and he said he never had been - and he was middle-aged. How do you get through to a Five that intimacy could be enjoyable? Me and Jonathan are soul mates but he doesn't feel the need to see me as much as I do him. : : Rachel. : : Ps. Still getting used to the American way of writing the date - here (UK)we put the day of the month first. : Hi there Rachel :) : I don't know about being 'in love' with a five - but one of my dearest friends is a five. When I first got to know her, she was an obviously lovely person, but extremely closed when it came to any subject involving her inner self in a one-to-one situation, and would clam up completely in any group situation. I even nicknamed her 'guppy' because she was known to open and close her mouth when trying to reply to any question posed to her in a group situation. Luckily for us both, I had absolutely no respect for the barriers she had put up - and in a gentle but persistent way, I proceeded to march straight through them. It was a long and slow process - and she had wonderful guidance from her therapist. Nowadays, she is more than capable of expressing herself quite elegantly and even runs a course at one of the most respected counselling institutes in Sydney on, of all things, how to facilitate groups! : Persistence pays! : And just for the record, we too use a more civilised way of dating here in Australia - but then, we were good little children of "the Empire"....but not for long. It's only a matter of time before we declare ourselves a republic. I wonder if Billy Connelly would like to be our first president? (Yes, I know he's a Scot, but he DID marry an Aussie - and that's good enough for me!:) : smiles : Amanda :)

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