Re: Feeling threatened by others

Posted by Becky on April 26, 1998 at 09:54:49:

In Reply to: Re: Feeling threatened by others posted by Devora-Leah on April 19, 1998 at 15:33:35:

I woke up this morning and decided to search for "enneagram" on the web and look what I have stumbled upon! People who seem to feel just like I do!

: Thanks for your response. What really upsets me with this particular co-worker is that I felt her sizing me up during the first second of meeting me, and she concluded that she is superior (at least in terms of power). If she is superior, then that makes me inferior since I am simply incapable of challenging her conclusion. I hate feeling inferior, it makes my self-esteem and confidence just plummet to rock bottom. I do so much better when I feel -- and perhaps even more importantly that the other feels -- that we are equals.

I can completely relate to those feelings. I'm 24 and have no idea what I want to do "when I grow up." Right now I have an entry level "date input" job that I got just out of college, and I am dealing with a co-worker who also seems to just assume that she is much more intelligent than I am and superior in her job skills. It wouldn't bother me so much if she really were better - the job we share has nothing to do with what either of us wants to do or went to college for - but it upsets me that she just assumes she's better at it.

I also do a lot better in any situation - career related or social - where I feel (and more importantly where others feel) that we are equals. I feel inferior a lot of the time, and I admit that a lot of that is my own doing - my lack of self-confidence, etc. But this woman I work with is always sarcastically putting me down and telling me where i screwed up on something! She makes my self-esteem fall even more, so much so the other day that I found myself crying in the bathroom for 20 minutes. I, like you, am usually unable to verbally challange what she says to me as well.

As for the topic of depression, I am also suffering from it. I see a therapist and have been on medication for almost a year. At present I am gradually reducing the medication (side effects are getting to me) and continuing the therapy, which seems to be doing the most good. I think I have suffered from mild depression on and off for many years, but the situation that forced me into treatment had a lot to do with graduating from college and not being able to find a job. Sitting at home ALONE for weeks, completely isolated from others (I had also recently moved to a new city where I knew only one person) basically forced me to find a therapist and start trying to get better.

There's a million other things I could say here (I also have a tendency to type/write long messages) but for now I will leave it at this. I had to comment on the "feeling threatened by others" subject because it's how I have felt all my life and affects just about every part of my life. I need some ideas on how to stop letting others who I feel threatened by from affecting my life in such a negative way! Anyone?

Becky

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