Posted by Bartholomew on January 02, 2001 at 13:01:56:
In Reply to: 4c1 attitude: you're responsible for your own "hissy fits." posted by Freddie on December 31, 2000 at 13:59:34:
I have been reading up on Zen, and at least one book takes a similar attitude, only it takes it one step further. It says, if you get angry, to stop thinking about the person who made you angry and start thinking about your anger. You are responsible for not only how you react to your emotions, but your emotions themselves.
: Please note, I do not intend to make this assertion from a standpoint of superiority. This is an issue that I deal with as much as anyone (that's not an exaggeration). In fact, since I generally mind my own business, I would not take terms with this issue if it did not apply to me directly.
: Anyway... you're responsible for the way you handle your emotions. Your emotions themselves may be impetuous, and the bad boy's behavior "A" may lead to your emotion "B," but the responsibility for your behavior in response to this emotion falls upon you.
: And nobody else can be bound by liability to them. They may be held liable for their own actions, but you are to be held liable for your reaction. In short, an inappropriate overreaction on your part does not increase the liability of the "provoker." Nor do you become justified in overreacting.
: In success coaching, this is called "initiative," "pro-activity," and "maturity" (which is not a misnomer in this case, I would say).
: I'll write more about this later; I'm late I'm late for a very important date.
: (That's work, btw :)
: Meantime, any opinions on this?
: Freddie