message to Matches - last one didn't get posted.

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: Dear Matches, : I'm stuck a lot and often have been, but I've found cognitive approach actually works much of the time. Have adopted techniques out of The Feeling Good Handbook by David A Burns MD . They work by showing up our distorted thoughts and assumptions. I've found it CAN work substituting, 'It would be to my advantage to' for I should, or I would feel a lot happier and relieved if these things were finished and over with' - followed by list of things I've been putting off. Please tell me what you are supposed to be studying. I do things like starting to write or plan out books I think could get published instead of doing my essays. I find I behave in a very Nineish way - avoidant, easily distracted. What were your original plans/dreams when you started at college? : Regarding remarks made earlier:- : (1) Inspiration and confidence don't strike before but after the act of doing. Hasn't this been true for you in the past? : May strike WHILE doing, but sometimes afterwards I would have great doubts, not about whether I was doing something I believed to be true and right, but if it would be seen as acceptable. Esp. In regard to essays - I can write a good essay, but it often isn't what they are looking for. Like I have to be different and use different books to the ones they suggested. : (2) Do that positive thing you have an inkling to do REGARDLESS OF HOW YOU FEEL AT THE MOMENT. : Taking (1) and (2) together: You walk into the school and see that you're late; your depressed, you don't feel like entering, what will they all think, those eyes on me...you turn around...Don't. Go into that classroom regardless of how you feel. The "I am proud of myself for doing this" feeling, the confidence, the gusto to go onto the next step will occur after the act of doing. Principle. : I was frequently late to lectures at Uni., but I just used to walk in with my head up high, go right to wear I usually sat right at the front, (so I didn't have to wear my glasses, and could be at the centre of things.), and silently mouth my apologies to the lecturer with a polite smile. One of them said to me that when I did this he always thought of me as some great actress making her entrance, and that he felt as if we should all stand up and applaud. : Call me an egotist, but I loved that remark! It pays not to be furtive. : (3): Don't get hung up on the results. According to Don Riso, one of the attributes of 4w5 is the love of the doing for the sake of discovery, enjoyment, not to compete with others to attain a result at the end. Forget the result, by simply enjoying the act of going to school, and studying the subject, you will attain the results. : Very, very true - don't let the system spoil learning for you. Practically everything is interesting or a challenge. See yourself as an explorer, renaissance person. I think Fours like to be in control of their learning more than being blocked in by others parameters - so find your own way of doing things. In the end it's the pioneers who are respected, the independent thinkers. With some tutors/courses you get better marks for this anyway. I try to show now that I've at least looked at the set books, and why I've moved on from them. : What are you studying. Talking about a subject can help you regain your enthusiasm and clarify your thinking. When I get an essay question, I try to think what I would say off the top of my head if someone just asked me it - as a starting point. : Have you got someone who can be your mentor? I'm mentor to my nephew who is completely inert - I force him to do things. Sometimes he just can't because he's dyslexic and too confused and I end up doing it for him. Have just finished a whole environmental studies project for him when I should have been doing my own college work. Would be glad to dialogue more on this. Do you live alone? It seems your motivated by writing. What about acting where you have to be in the present and be present. Singing is a really good energizer. Also breaking things down into really tiny pieces helps to get things done. Have you got access to a counsellor at college? : Maybe you'll become a famous script writer/playwrite! : Tigs.

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