Nathan, if you're still out there

Subject:

Comments:
: Nathan, just wanted to let you know that I printed out and keep in a notebook all the four responses on the other four board (the one you click into next to this message board), but your message on August 24--the long one--I highlighted in my favorite color green. That message in which you talk of some fours gravitating toward relationships, others more goal oriented, and the need for spirituality and creativity to takes ourselves out of our heads toward self actualization--it's been the message I've needed to hear all summer long. The fact that you are not an Enneagram professional, just an ordinary guy who works hard to attain the stuff you speak of, makes it more special. : For two years, I had looked forward to, but didn't have the guts to take, this intense acting classes, in which you basically speak the truth to another classmate in a scene, while the rest of the class watches. It's a very emotionally vulnerable experience, in which anything can happen there, and if you're a four--well, there is this push-pull between wanting so much to connect with the other person, but that fear of being shouted at, hurt and rejected. For two years I imagined the experience, then finally got up the guts take the class (1999, the last year of this century has been my motivator this year). Anyhow, the class was, indeed, hard. I had one night went I was exhilarating, and the teacher acknowledged it. But all the other weeks, I couldn't take the leap of faith. Finally, at evaluations, I was I believe the only student (maybe one other) recommended to repeat the class, and not move onto the advance d one. I was devastated, came home depressed, and it took my six roommate to pull me out [regarding your other message--sixes have their faults, but they are darned good too, don't surrender your sixes so fast, if you still have questions about sixes, let me know, because I can shoot straight from the hip about them]. : Anyhow, this summer I have gone back into my head, have had a hard time being motivated, and a desire to take another acting class, or attempt to audition a monologue, as that same teacher harped at me about doing. I sound like I am wallowing in pity, and you would probably condemn this. But honestly, I am a very disciplined person, and programmed with the correct thoughts, can go after achievement in a very un-3 like way. I think your August 24th message gave me back some of those words I needed to hear about fours and creativity, and spirituality. I think both of these truly are the key to fours. I have explored the spirituality angle to rejuvenate, but now I think it's time to give creativity another chance, and get out of my head. : Also, an astrologist I visited for the first time (my first time ever with an astrologist) told me to see the movie "Backdraft" because of the strong mixture of fire and water motifs. Being an Aries sun sign but a pisces moon sign, she said I have strong fire and water in my nature--the reason why I can go back and forth between forcefully pursuing my dreams (fire) and retreating into spirit (water). Ties into my being a four, though I find Enneagram much more exacting about me than Astrology. : Didn't intend to ramble, just wanted to say thanks for that really great message. I will read it as many times as it takes to pull myself out of the slump. : Now I have to respond to Butch. Have you read that message, and the other four enneagramists up in arms, not realizing he's playing into their four sensibilities. A light touch is needed with Butchy boy. I don't for a minute believe he's into what he says he is. --J

Optional Link URL:
Link Title:
Optional Image URL: